I have often felt that people talked like that behind my back but the main ones that said it to my face were my mother and my "perfect" sister.

I get it from all sides. From my ds who has all of the issues (he has to blame someone), my ex dh, I've heard it from co-workers, from relatives-in-law, etc.

People always have to blame someone.

Does this co-worker have kids? And if so, are they young?

If so, wait 'til they get to be teenagers. She'll learn really quick that kids don't always do what the parents taught them.

I read all the time about Sarah Palin, how she taught abstinence but "look what happened with her daughter."

How silly!!!!! My husband's daughter was raised the same way her brothers were. She was a great kid when I met her at age 11, and continued to get honor roll, all-star softball and soccer, etc.

Then she met the wrong people and started on her drug path.

in Jamie spears case, I might agree the parents had something to do with it, if it's true they took her sister to bars late night to sing.
People just want to think whatever bad happens is someones fault so they are protected from that happening to their own children. my kids never went to bars, I drove them and their friends to church activities, church camps, ect. And yet my 16 year old delivered her baby 1 week before her 17th birthday.
I blame self will run riot.
At that point some teens can still get their lives together and raise their kids. I thought mine would, I even gave her the opportunity to go to technical college to no avail. Now I think she is just undiagnosed BPD, and will never raise either child of hers that I now have custody of.
Instead she seems to be determined to hang with criminals and avoid working at all costs.
I have 2 other adult kids that work and don't like what she does or who she hangs out with, one of which is younger than her.

Yes, she has kids - a daughter 18 and son 13. She talks a lot about other parents & kids in her kid's school, saying the parents are trash and kids are losers. Her daughter has social problems at school because of her superior attitude and she can't understand why the kids say her daughter thinks she's better than everyone else - DUH! She is a racist and homophobe who has taught her kids to be the same. She brags about her daughter yelling "You make me want to puke" at a gay couple. God help her kids if they ever dared to date anyone other than a WASP.

Then it seems she didn't do such a good job! She may think she did, but the fact that her kids are having social problems speaks volumes. At any point they could realize what kind of kids they are and I surely hope they don't decide to "treat" it with drugs or alcohol.

She sounds like a real s-word, so her opinion is totally worthless, anyway.

Thats whats wrong with our society there is always blame instead of help. I hear it all the time, there are no such thing as bad kids just bad parents! Ugh! We did the best we could with what we had. No one is perfect, and why people get off on Hollywood stars misfortunate lives is really beyond me! What the heck; that chick who said that is incapable of being a friend, as she is so blind she did not even see she was hurting you! What a creep!

I would just consider the source. And, opinions are worth exactly what you pay for them. *'except our very supportive opinions here :)

You know that when I read this blog I thought to my self no matter what anyone else says it can't be as bad as what I have said to myself. I have come up with more reasons to blame my self for the way my son is.
If I had done this. If I had done that. What if.
I know that it isn't my fault. I didn't use drug and I didn't do anything to harm my son while I was carrying him. But I still spent time blaming my self. I don't do that now. But I am sure every parent who has had a teenage daughter pregant or a teenage son about to be a father. Or lost a child to drug and booze or mental health problems has wondered what they did wrong.

I've tried to remember what another parent whose son gave her problems said to me once. She said "Don't beat yourself up. You did the best you could. You raise them right, teach them right from wrong, and are always there for them. But there comes a time in their lives when they start to make decisions for themselves that are out of your control. They are responsible for their own choices."

Again, our oldest daughter and our 16-year-old grandson we've raised since birth are terrific people and never gave us a minute of worry. Our youngest daughter was a great kid until she got to the teen years, which now that I know she has it, is when she began to have bi-polar symptoms. We did everything we could to help her. She would do well for a while, then spin out of control again. She bounced back and forth between depression and even some threats of suicide and spinning out of control. Nothing we did helped her. She actually does okay now. Our relationship is good and she's always know she is loved. She even posted something on Facebook about how family is most important and they always love you but friends come and go. It took a long time, but she finally gets it.

Every parent on the face of the planet makes mistakes in raising their children. None of us are perfect. There still comes a time, no matter what mistakes we may have made or what great traits we may have instilled, that these kids have to be responsible for their own choices. Great kids can come out of a home with terrible parents and screwed up kids can come out of a home with stable, loving, dedicated parents. Just like Jesus said, "Let He who has no sin cast the first stone." and then watch them scatter........Your coworker friend should keep her words soft and sweet because sitting on that judgment throne could end up biting her in the butt.