Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Yesterday morning my youngest daughter contacted me to let me know that GD's bio was being released from prison as one of her in laws saw it on Facebook. He is a Level 3 sex offender of a young child. (Not GD.) The community has to be notified and it's just a few miles from our suburb.
We decided I needed to talk to GD about posting before others might. The large posting included two pics of his mug shot and hundreds of people were commenting, threatening to castrate him, kill him etc. I don't blame them as we feel the same but I was just ill for my GD. People kept sharing it not knowing he is bio.
My poor baby! Like she needs more horror in her life. This was not his original incarceration. He served only 8 years and then had a 5 year parole. The court was unable to locate him when I was filing for custody, when he was in our state prison!
I contacted some officials yesterday that told me he has been in for past year due to parole violation but refused to elaborate.
We decided I needed to talk to GD about posting before others might. The large posting included two pics of his mug shot and hundreds of people were commenting, threatening to castrate him, kill him etc. I don't blame them as we feel the same but I was just ill for my GD. People kept sharing it not knowing he is bio.
My poor baby! Like she needs more horror in her life. This was not his original incarceration. He served only 8 years and then had a 5 year parole. The court was unable to locate him when I was filing for custody, when he was in our state prison!
I contacted some officials yesterday that told me he has been in for past year due to parole violation but refused to elaborate.
The posting on Facebook was the official city page where alot of my GD's friends live.
She says she is okay yet she seems more anxious, irritable and is sleeping more. We start with a new therapist, a psychologist, next week. When she saw the article she said "I don't understand how he can care about me so much and everyone else thinks he is a horrible person?"
When he went to prison when GD was 5, I told her that her daddy loved her but lived far away after she kept asking who her daddy was and where he was.
When her mother regained custody at 7 1/2 she told her everything about him and brought her to the prison for visits!!!!! (I didn't know about this until GD was 14.) My daughter is severely mentally ill and has always been very inappropriate with GD.
I tried to have his parental rights terminated when we tried to obtain permanent custody of GD the first time.
He asked if he could see her? NO. He then said that he was sure she has heard horrible things about him. I said "She knows why you were in prison and has no desire to see you ever." He said "I understand."
He asked if he could mail letters, journals to her(Probably)
He also asked for possible phone calls or email. I told him we'd discuss it with GD and he could call back tomorrow. She is 17 so I need to allow her input.
I cried after I hung up. I have known this man since he was 14 years old and GD's mother was dating his older brother. What a nightmare.
I hate to say this and I hope this doesn't upset you...but there is the possibility that he may have done something to your GD when she was little and doesn't remember. I know a lot about sex offenders. They have a target age. How old was the child he molested and served a sentence for?
My oldest daughter was abused by my X from birth to 4 yo. I was devastated when I found out. Face down breathing lint off the carpet devastated. I had her in therapy for 9 month's when I found out about it. She had the counselors convinced she didn't remember.
When she was 19 yo and in college, she watched a movie with her friends called 'Something About Amelia' and it cracked everything open. She started getting stomach pain and started crying not knowing why. Her boyfriend tried to console her but she was repulsed by him. Then the memories came flooding back over a period of a few days and I got a call from her. I got her into a therapist and eventually she was able to confront her dad.
Anyways, that was our story and hopefully not yours and your grand daughters. Wish I could give you a hug. It's not fair. Children shouldn't have to go through these things and neither should we!
I sincerely hope and pray this monster did not do anything to her. I still recommend an Exparte' restraining order. I will keep you in my prayers.
I want to get an order of protection against for GD but she would like limited contact. She said "I know he is a horrible person, but he cares about me. More than my mother ever did. He wrote to me every week from prison and remembered everything I told him." Ugh.
I don't know what to do. GD is seeing a Psychologist and I will ask her this week. It's so hard because she is 17.
Polygraphs run a couple of hundred dollars. If it were me, I'd make up a series of questions and have this guy take a poly before I granted him permission to see her. Your GD should really consider this....I mean...she will be having children sometime in the future, too. She should know if her children will be in danger by their grandpa. Just a suggestion. (((Hugs)))