Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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scgramma 08/04/2013

So school is about to start and I have 4yo gd enrolled . Biodad tried for custody 2 years ago with his "stable 2 yr marriage " judge gave him every other week visitation until school starts but bio parents were to go to mediation which neither paid for. And the one year clock ran out with no resolution so nothing decided. Biodad broke up with wife, moved several states over for 5 months the and came back, sporting a gf with 3 kids. (Hes still married)Meanwhile he's still never paid child support consistently and owes thousands although he s only supposed to pay 50 week. So no one thinks we should have to send 4 yo gd to stay wih him for days or weeks in that environment. I so know he's alcoholic cant keep job long and when gd comes back she's dirty and smells
Well now he accident sent me a text saying he is going to court right after he spoke with gd on phone. Biomom has just moved in w new guy last week in another state and still job hunting and says if biodad tried to serve papers she will take gd and disappear.
Gd has lived here for over a year and I will be forcEd to file for custody myself if he tries, under sc law defacto guardian. Do you think judge will keep things as they are while the case goes on or would be say gd goes with biodad while case goes on? She has lived with me for most of her life, twice living with mom elsewhere, several times wih mom living here too. I put foot down on that in January as mom can't get along. I'm also raising 6 year old I've bad since he was 1, my gs from same biomom on who I have custody of....

scgramma 08/04/2013

Also do judges typically favor bios even if they are shacking up with misc , wether they are married or not? I know when biodad was trying to get custody from biomom judge said no shacking up to someone you're not married, but that was custody battle between parents.

GMaWilli 08/05/2013

Do you have an attny who represented you in court before? If so, what i he/she advising you to do? It sounds like a judge would lean towards you since bio dad never followed through on the court's last order not to mention the fact that you are rising the other child, too.

daisydduck 08/05/2013

Prepare a list with dates and occurences regarding child support payments due but not paid, items he bought child (shoes, toys etc), and a list of your expenses for the child, including medical, dental, food, clothing, transportation to school/doctor appointments, etc. Obviously, his column will reflect his lack of support. When he left the state without making arrangements for support payments, he gave up his rights. A court will expect him to prove he can support your gc, as well as, the gr's kids. If you don't have money for attorney, see if there is one who will meet with you to help you prepare for court. To be honest, I think if you go through CPS, they will file that he was a a negligent father while you took care of gc. Courts do not look kindly on deadbeat dads. If he had money to travel and get the girlfriend, he had money to send to you for child. Since he did not even attempt to be responsible, he will look very bad in the eyes of the court. Don't let him intimidate you. Having the list of expenses and no income from him should help speed court decision. I used to refer to my sil and his entire crazy family as ants at a picnic, just when you think you got rid of them, they show up again!

scgramma 08/06/2013

Thanks all. I did get an attorney on the phone. He said no real need to worry. As you said . Courts will not look favorably on his arrearages in child support, coupled with current arrangement and failure to follow through last time he started something in court . I am relieved and I think dd biomom will leave gd so she can go to school.

scgramma 08/15/2013

More from biodad. He calls dd at 1030 pretending he wants to talk to gd. He talks all calm about why she won't let him see gd. We k ow he's recording call because he's calm
And not yelling. He knows gd is with me not biomom . I text him asking why h said he'd call her around 8 and has t called her once. I ask him if there's a better time. He responds no, 8 is fine, and his parents have tried to call. I tell him to make sure they have right number cause I have t received any calls or missed calls or voicemails from them and I offer to send him gd soccer schede. He says thanks and have good day. Ok so what is he up to. Trying to impress gf or trying to get his parents to help him pay lawyer or hoping to impress judge w calls to biomom??

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