Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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Bio Mom has Surfaced & son has open arms!

Liam2010
Liam2010
My son the bio dad just text my husband saying that the bio mom called him from the hospital stating that she wants to work with my son (bio dad) to get my gs back!!

I knew it has been going to smooth...Now she has had drug & alcohol issues along with mental issues. She has been in and out of hospitals on 51/50 for several years.

The TPR is scheduled for December and we were starting to think all this will end and we can finally be a family without DCFS in our life.

I let my son come to our house for an arranged visit through DCFS last Saturday. Well, I'm not going to do it anymore the Bio's will have to go through DCFS.

Has anyone gone through this where the parent's jump back into the picture and stopped the adoption process?

I just don't need this added stress, I work fulltime on a demanding job, I take off work Tuesday 1/2 day & Wednesday all day so I can be in this program through UCLA for babies who were exposed to alcohol & drugs plus GS has Physical therapy & OT at our home during the day. I don't get paid when I am off and I have to drive to Los Angeles which is 2 hr drive for the program every week for 20 weeks.

I know that it would take a long time for parents to work towards getting gs but it just another delay in my GS's life.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am new to all of this, so if the bios visit it all starts over again? My daughter will be getting out of jail soon and I wonder how the children will handle the visits. It sounds like you have your hands full with work, hospital visits and raising your GS. My daughter has drug issues and I wonder at what point do I totally give up on her and just focus on the GC. It sounds like you are in the same situation. Where do we draw the line?
daisydduck
daisydduck
I'm really sick of parents rights. If they are not going to be responsible parents leave the kids and allow them to be secure. Sorry things have taken wrong turn.
lisadawn7193
lisadawn7193
It seems to me that the bio parents can come and go and cause all this pain on these children and the courts think that it is ok. They do not realize that the GP's or other family members that are doing right by these children, are taking on all the responsibility of these children. Where would these children be without us?

I wish you luck and will keep you in my prayers....

Lisa
deleted_user
deleted_user
Liam, I am so sorry. Try not to worry. It sounds like her latest hospital stay has given her feelings of regret and clarity for the moment. Or maybe being sober-ish she realized that she is lonely. It doesn't really sound like the bios are capable of caring for this little guy, hopefully she'll either realize it or as I suspect it's a passing idea for her.

Why are you having to wait until December? Is that the mandated amount of time that bios have to get their act together where you are?

I agree with everyone else here-the parents made their choices now the kiddos and those who stepped up to care for them have the right to some peace. It's sickening how much the bios are babied by CPS.
Liam2010
Liam2010
Aug 3rd was our last court hearing and what I found out was that our last SW didn't have all the paperwork in order & they didn't serve the bio mom per state law before TPR can be final.

The Judge was very upset and said he will continue TPR & adoption in December so the new SW can make sure all things are done per the law. Back in Aug my son was all for letting us apdopt Gs now he believes the bio mom that she will get her act together so they can be a little family.

Our SW said we will proceed with TPR & adoption and not to let Bio mom visit with GS, she will have to go through SW.

Bio mom never showed for any court hearings or worked with SW, I think once she has to have DCFS demands she may just back off.

We will see...I do think it will delay everything, thou.
GMaWilli
GMaWilli
Try not to let it stress you out too much. My GS's case (my son's son) has gone to legal screening, which is the step before TPR. His bio mom has moved out of her druggie boyfriend's house (he's in jail) back to her mother's house and is making good progress in not using. The SW said it doesn't matter; it's too late. The papers have already been sent to the legal department. Our case is 2 1/2 years going; not sure how long yours has been going. Sounds like she is having wishful thinking. That doesn't mean it's going to do her any good whatsoever. I completely understand how you feel about being ready to live without DCFS appointments and visits, etc. I'm ready, too. The licensing lady called me yesterday evening (Sunday evening) and asked what time she can come out for her licensing "check" on SATURDAY. I guess the woman has to work 7 days a week to keep up with the cases. All the more reason to simplify the process in getting kids settled with their grandparents or other relatives who are willing and able to take over.