Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

446 Members

3,703 Posts

0 Online

dianaconroy 09/04/2012

So as many of you know. We've had our GS and GD since birth. The parents have always been involved at some level, they either call or come visit. Their mom call every week and their dad visits very other week.He started bring them gifts. Yesterday bio dad started talking about how easier it was to potty train our oldest. Are you kidding. We potty trained her and by the time she went for a visit with her parents, she was basically potty trained. Anyway, my husband and I know he's building a case to get his kids back. They have never lived with him, he's had a job for one year, and now has lived with a girlfriend (we've never met), for about a year. He's never had his own place. Now hes talking like he's getting his kids back, oh and did I say he shows up high most of the time. What could his chances of winning custody be? I can't believe a judge would rip the kids from the only home they have ever known because the father has a job that pays 8 dollars an hour and found yet another women to give him a place to live. Apparently the women has section 8 housing because she has a daughter. Our attorney saids that at the very most he'll get visitation but he has to proof that he's sober. I can't believe that even with guaridanship I worry about the kids being ripped from the only home they've known. I

daisydduck 09/04/2012

Guardianship is not permanent and parents can take it away from you. However, your strength is that you have cared for children since birth, correct? Bio dad can go to court and request custody and the courts may give him a chance. You need to be prepared to fight him. Your lawyer should present to the court (if the time comes,) and state it is in best interest of children to stay w you. Do you think his ladyfriend has convinced him he can get state funding for children and that is why he's talking about custody?

grandmagrandma 09/04/2012

I agree with Daisy. Guardianship is not nearly a solid as we were once lead to believe. It all depends on the Judge. That is why we are now adopting. After 4 1/2 years, we were unwilling to risk losing him. But the only reason we were able to terminate bios was because of no support or contact even though they were able to.

SaraBT 09/04/2012

Just what you need to deal with, Diana!

I agree that it isn't as cut and dried as it should be. But if you suspect that he's trying to get them back, be even more diligent in documenting everything. Dates, times, conditions, conversations, etc.

Any REASONABLE judge would keep the kids with you. You've had them since birth, your son isn't married to this woman of only a year, etc.etc.

This thought just occurred to me: How would the bio mom feel about him and a strange woman getting the kids back? Would she fight to keep the kids with you?

GMaWilli 09/04/2012

You say he shows up high. I hope you supervise his visits whenever that happens or make him leave. If you state in court that he always shows up high, they may ask you why you allowed the visits at all, then. What does your lawyer say about that part?

mommagain 09/04/2012

I agree with everyone here most of all with Gmaw...

I would talk with my attorney NOW about putting him on task or some sort of drug motioning even for visits. this might nip in the bottom..

If you are allowing visits while he is high this could cause a problem for you.

dianaconroy 09/16/2012

We never leave the kids unserpervised with him. Usually we meet him at a park were the kids end up playing while we sit there and watch bio dad closely. Now that we have quaridianship we would never allow unserpervised visits.

Join the Conversation