Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Biomom called, began well. She inquired how their first day of school went, spoke with them as well. We chatted about the camping trip we just returned from. Then she starts with her plans , she has 6 week old baby, HER plan was for her to move back here when bf/fianc deploys in march, then showing me she can handle kids ( had oldest 6 years, youngest more than a year. ( shed drive me nuts, no more peace)Hes supposed to be getting divorce and marrying herNew plan , since she expects to be getting job soon (heard that since jan2013)she will stay there and get kids back when they finish school year (heard that last year)she lives 4 hours away.
Then she asks me what I think about her plan. Do I tell her heard it all before, youre not getting kids back so stop , that would just start a fight and I think she needs to think she will, do I say sounds good? ( it doesnt, how will I know kids are all right ? she lived here, she moved away, oldest has been with me since 1 year old, hes 7, but they will magically be happy with her? And she will suddenly be stable, and they will get to school on time ,hes special ed and requires more attention than I have sometimes, and not be bounced around? More likely she will start dating again when current bf gets deployed, and will have another string of men in my grands life. My 5 year old gd has lived with 3 different men (her alcoholic daddy, a deadbeat felon, and a deadbeat slug) before I got her. Biomom lives with new baby, bf and additional roommates in 2 br apartment. . She hasnt threatened to move out and leave fianc for about 3 weeks now!
I dont want to be cruel, I just want her to stop asking me what I think of her plans, I wish I could play the part of supportive mom, but tired of hearing it, makes me want to avoid talking to her at all. I just feel like hope is futile. My mother tells me to tell her shes not getting kids back. Im still hoping I dont get the call to raise the new baby.
They are doing well, daily homework attention, sports, gymnastics, youngest rages decreased dramatically, we are bonded. I wish I didnt have to raise more kids, but at least I can say they are thriving.
Then she asks me what I think about her plan. Do I tell her heard it all before, youre not getting kids back so stop , that would just start a fight and I think she needs to think she will, do I say sounds good? ( it doesnt, how will I know kids are all right ? she lived here, she moved away, oldest has been with me since 1 year old, hes 7, but they will magically be happy with her? And she will suddenly be stable, and they will get to school on time ,hes special ed and requires more attention than I have sometimes, and not be bounced around? More likely she will start dating again when current bf gets deployed, and will have another string of men in my grands life. My 5 year old gd has lived with 3 different men (her alcoholic daddy, a deadbeat felon, and a deadbeat slug) before I got her. Biomom lives with new baby, bf and additional roommates in 2 br apartment. . She hasnt threatened to move out and leave fianc for about 3 weeks now!
I dont want to be cruel, I just want her to stop asking me what I think of her plans, I wish I could play the part of supportive mom, but tired of hearing it, makes me want to avoid talking to her at all. I just feel like hope is futile. My mother tells me to tell her shes not getting kids back. Im still hoping I dont get the call to raise the new baby.
They are doing well, daily homework attention, sports, gymnastics, youngest rages decreased dramatically, we are bonded. I wish I didnt have to raise more kids, but at least I can say they are thriving.
Pinky was always dreaming up new goals. Every phone call she would list them for me: GED, car, job, apartment, college (HAHAHAHAHAHA!), etc. We had to listen to them over and over until we finally told her to DO them, THEN tell us.
She never mentioned them again. LOL
Right now she has been out of jail for almost 3 weeks and is actually doing well. She is even going to NA and AA meetings (court ordered of course) I hope she keeps it up, but I have my doubts. Heard it all before, too many times.