Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Recently we became kinship carers to three grandchildren all under 5. We are 56 & 54 and we are finding it a bit difficult. I dont want to tell anyone as i worry that they will think that we cant cope and would take the children away.
I also feel really angry at my son for doing this to us - i feel bad about feeling this but i kinda miss the life i had before. My life has totally changed both financially, housing and my job. I fear that i am going to have to give my job up as the cost of childcare will make it not worth while working. My son is oblivious to the stress of this and today expected me to take money over to him as he had overspent and had no money to attend court tomorrow.
The children are challenging and dealing with tantrums in asda and wet beds again is tiring. Just going out with three children and fixing them in and out of car seats is a major expedition. At night when they are all asleep i know that it is worth it. The children seem happy and seem to be thriving.
My marriage was already strained before this and now it is worse, we are forced to be together more and i no longer go to gym or go out with friends. I feel like DH is just like another child who needs told what to do for example tells me my Grandson has wet the bed but doesnt remove the sheet - Grr
Will things settle down ? are these feelings normal ? I feel that i cannot tell anyone about my feelings. I love my grandchildren so much but i would not choose this unless i totally had to . does anyone know what i mean ?
Your life did change and yes of course it's normal to wish we had it back at times, why wouldn't we, we are at the age where we are supposed to be babysitting our grandchildren not raising them. I to had to stop going to the gym. My grandson just started going to school full-time within the last 2 weeks. this has been the first break iv'e had in a almost a year!! It feels wonderful when I shut that door behind him and my 10 year old son. That doesn't mean I don't love them of course I do with all my heart .
My grandson wet the bed a lot when I first got him. I would never get angry with him, I would just take the sheets and wash them. Over and over again. Then I went to Rite Aid and bought these underwear that look like normal underwear only you put a pad in them. I took him in the room by himself and explained that I knew he was wetting the bed because he was nervous and this would help him. I told my 10 year old son that if I ever caught him making fun of him for wearing these he'd be in serious trouble. I also told my grandson that it would keep his bed nice as well. Now he rarely wets the bed.
I am still dealing with the Temper Tantrums. There is not one morning, NOT ONE, where my grandson doesn't wake up with bad Hyperactivity which inevitably ends in him going to his room and me and my son having to listen to him throw things around in there and scream, scream, scream. You should see his door, tons of holes. This behavior stresses me out so badly. Makes me shake.
I am alone and couldn't imagine having someone in my life right now . He's come a long way because of my love and stable environment but he still has a long way to go.