Diana, that's so frustrating!!!!

I'm being sarcastic here, but at the system, not you.

When you take a math class you have to solve real problems. When you go to nursing school, you can't be a nurse until you've actually worked with patients.

So why does she think that classroom lectures are all it takes to start parenting again? Jeeeeeeeeze!

I can't see that she could take her kids back, just because she took some notes here and there and visited her kids four or five times. If she can, then the system isn't broken -- it's destroyed!!!!

I agree. I think she's blowing air or she has a really bad attorney. My attorney said that if she had a good attorney, her attorney should have contacted my attorney already to get all his facts straight. I seriously doudt that an attorney would expect to be in court to ask for kids that "have never lived with her", back after only one month of consistant visits.

In my experience they tend to blow things out of proportion. Yes maybe she took A class...with my DD just signing up for the class was as good as a bachelors degree. Your lawyer is right...IF she has a lawyer they need to contact YOUR lawyer and advise him that they are representing her.

My gk biodad will be out of prison in April. My worst fear is that DD and he hook up and try to get kids back. I know it would difficult if at all but you can get some goofy judge and then who knows what will happen so I understand your worry.

Do you have a GAL for your gk? If not you may wish to ask the court to appoint one. This is a person who advocates for the kids and can be a godsend.

I think she is all empty threats...come on we are busy too but don't ignore our obligations--sheesh. How hard is it to stop by and visit or at the very least a phone call....they are so frustrating!

Mystery, you bring up a good point. When Pinky was actively using (and still to a certain extent now), if she spoke it, it was reality.

If she was "looking for a job" that meant she had one. If she "was getting her GED" it meant she had it, even if she hadn't signed up for a single class.

So I can only assume that, as Mystery said, if she is "taking parenting classes" it means she either took one or is thinking about it. Same thing with an attorney. It sounds good to say she has one, so she says it - and it becomes reality.

YIKES!

thanks for all your reassurance. It took me 3 days to stop stressing, i'm just now after reading these emails feeling better. Like I said the kids have never lived with her, she has court ordered supervised visits, which she doesn't make and she thinks she can just pick the kids up? GEEZ is right. My attorney also told me that in the state of California after 2 years we can move to terminate guardianship without the burden of proofing that they are unfit parents. I also found out that as guardians we become "agents of the court" and the court looks to us to tell them how we feel about the termination, I also found info that saids that the court rarely goes against the wishes of the guardians.....it all made me feel better. Thanks.

I meant terminate parental rights.

Diana.

I truly wish you the best of luck. I personally know the stress involved in this as I have been constantly told similar stuff by my grandson's mother. (Not sure of the all the abbreviations used here). Each time my lawyer calmly tells me to not worry that we are doing everything right. While that helps, I still lay awake at night worrying about what would happen is I ever lost him. How can you not worry when the most precious thing you have is threatened?

So far in all these years, they have been nothing but empty threats. My grandsons mother is emotionally unstable (along with history of drugs and alcohol) and truthfully I don't believe she can stick to something long enough to accomplish anything you claims. I really think she does it just to make herself feel better. Trust me, I would never let her know that it actually bothers me,

I always worry though because you never how a court will rule. I have seen a lot of cases that have surprised me both ways. It is always a gamble for a grandparent when going to court. I believe that the more time the child is under your care the stronger your case. Plus we are doing the right thing and because of that the Man above will watch out for all of us.

Good luck and hang in there. Classes don't make someone a parent. Regular visits don't make someone a parent. Your Bios have no idea what makes someone a parent because if they did you would not be raising the kids in the first place. The worst part of this endeavor is the "bios dabbling in parenthood". The best part is when your grandchild out of the blue tells you he loves you ore than anything in the world.

So, are you past that 2 year mark yet? I'd be counting down the days and then petition the courts for termination, and then adoption. Put an end to the popping in and out stressful crap. Even if she does everything she says, the next step would be a couple of hours of unsupervised visits; certainly NOT custody.

Thank you both for your comments. It's true that my head tells me she couldn't possibly get coustody because she wants it. But it's true that I still worry. Unfortunately we haven't reached the two year mark yet. We're barely at a year. But I'm hopeful that it will all work out. Although I fear that she might be aware of this law, especially if she has an attorney.

I am a little ignorant as to tis two year rule that you are referring to. I am in Texas and I guess I need to search the laws more closely and see what is out there. I will be at the three year mark next month. My lawyer has stated that we have custody, she has supervised visit program that she refuses to participate in, so why take her back to court. The only reason would be to get child support and she doesn't pay her court ordered support to the fathers of her other two children. Lawyer says each day we have him solidifies the case and I am sure three years should say all we need to say to any court. once again always scared to open the door with the courts. No telling how they will rule. I Cant gamble with my grandson.