When you tell her that her parents never tried to get her back it makes her hurt and angry which you already know. But what else are you supposed to say… Just let her know that you love her and that you want her.She may curse at you or walk away from you but trust me when she gets older she will realize that it was you that stepped forward and saved her from the foster System. I know this is tough I have 4 children and they are all grown but one who is 10. My 27 year old and my 19 year old gave me a lot of problems. My son was very disrespectful to me that's why he doesn't live with me. Now that he's away living with his father he realizes who was really there for him.
I am now raising the 27year old's son. He was born addicted to Heroin. My daughter has been sober a year now. I am sure that when my grandson is a teenager iv'e got some of what your going through coming my way. HANG IN THERE.

Thank you I've alwas been afraid she would resent me but I know someday she will understand.

I know what you are going thru. I had my grandaughter at the age of 8. We were always very close, but due to her mothers drug use, she came to live with us. When she was 13-14 she went through angry times also. Many times it was directed at me. She to wanted to be with mom. It must be very painful to be abandoned by the people who are suppose to love you, but are not able to do so. Let her know you know she got a "raw deal" but that you will always be there for her with care and love. Today that 8 yr old is 23 and an amazing lady. She calls often and stops at "home" often. She has told me many times how grateful she is for me. Teen yrs are hard enough for them, but for the abandoned ones its very difficult. I had 2 loving parents and can't imagine what it would have felt like to be left behind.

All teens are angry. And all teens take it out on the people or person they are closes to. I have figured out how to not take it personal but never allow them to be disrespectful. I call it the drama club syndrome. Girls are really tough as teens and then to put the bioparents into the mix its a roller coaster ride for sure. I stepped off the ride. Looked at my oldest gd and cried. I told her I felt sorry for her yet I am not going to bring her up as a victim. I will be here to support her as I always have. I love her and I know she loves her parents too. Right now we only have each other and we have to make it work. When and if mom or dad get there heads out if the sand, they will be there to take her back with them, through the courts. Until that time we have to live our lives the best we can. I walked away. My us sat there in her room doing whatever. She was in 9th grade at the time. I guess she started to look around more. She can home from school once and mentioned her friend who doesn't have a bed or nice clothes. She put together some of her things and gave them to her for Xmas. This year as a sr in hs, she took her money and purchased a inflatable mattress for the same friend, because now she has a job. She also told me there were a lot of kids in her school that don't live with their parents.

I am in the same boat and would like advice and to be able to talk to people who are going through what I am.

We have had our granddaughter since she was 2. Mom is mentally ill, addicted to meth, and in jail. Our granddaughter is 12 now. We are safe so when she is mad, she is hard on us. Reasoning with her has never worked, they are not little adults. What has worked is moving close, telling her I love her, and holding her if she will let me. So far, that is what has worked with our girl. (-: