Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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Afraid to piss Bio's off

dianaconroy
dianaconroy
Hi many of u know my story. My husband an I have been rasing our almost 5 and 3 year old grandchildren. After 4 years of being jerked around by bio mom and threats by both parents to take the children. In August of 2011, We filed for general guardianship through probate court and in December 2012 we were granted guardianship because my step daughter didn't show up for the second time, she didn't show the only two times my husband and I couldn't do the 2.5 hour round trip to get her for court. Yes, I know ppl can't believe we picked her up for our court dates. Anyway, she was upset at first but now she seems to be fine. However bio dad is becoming an ass. For the last 5 years we've dropped pr picked up the bios, so that the can spend time with the kids. Every weekend was sabotaged by them. Now that we have guardianship we should be able to call the shots.but instead the two times we've told the bio DF we can't pick him up. He has a fit and is now threatening to take us to court and afraid he might win. He's held a job for the past 6 months under a program he got into after leaving rehab. lives with someone he met in rehab an is agin doing drugs. I know his chances are slim, but I'm just tired. I think tht if they want to see their kids they need toque the 2 hour trip instead of subjecting us a d the kids to it.
SaraBT
SaraBT
Diana, I can't imagine that the courts could order you to drive two and a half hours to pick up ANYONE for ANY reason. On the other hand you have established precedence, and often courts rule based upon that. On yet the other hand, you drove to get them and were usually screwed over -- a point in your favor.

I would call his bluff. Let him take you to court. As you know his chances are slim, and if he is doing drugs again he almost certainly won't follow through on his threats anyway :-)
dianaconroy
dianaconroy
The court has actually ruled that the parents are respo sible for getting themselves to and from visits.
NannaKMS
NannaKMS
I would definately start calling the shots, these bios are all talk, they are like spoiled kids when they don't get their own way. Stick to your guns. I remember before when i was in process of getting custody of gs and i was kissing my daughters a.... , i hated every minute of it then when court date came she didn't even show. I think hes all hot air, he won't want to be bothered to make the effort too much work, let alone raise his own kids not thats a lot of work. Stay strong.
daisydduck
daisydduck
I agree with others about calling his bluff. It really angers me that these losers feel they can intimidate the grandparents with empty threats. I doubt he w/get legal help to go to court. One step I always recommend with threats is one that we used when the paternal gp threatened to get a lawyer and take us to court after we had obtained custody. I told him to go ahead but assured him that the first thing we would ask of the court was psychological testing for all involved. He was a pervert who raped his own daughter. His wife was bipolar (and I'm sure other things) who told her sons the father was not guilty as the daughter has teased him into the rape. She also fed our gs dogfood when they did have visitation and the old man showed gs his trainset where he kept his gun. They never pursued it. I know you're tired and we can't help but be fearful but it sounds like the cards on your side.
mommagain
mommagain
I agree here... Call his bluff... using or not if he is not responsible enough to get to his visits I highly doubt he will follow threw with any THREATS... He is using that to keep you wrapped around his little finger. show him who is boss... YOU!