He has heard it somewhere. A 4.5 year old is not all of a sudden repeating words he heard as a 2 year old. You first tell him it is unacceptable, you may have to explain just because some people use words does not mean it is acceptable for us to use it. You can also ask where he heard it but he may not tell.

I told him it was unacceptable alright. He said he just knows that word...it's in his head he says...remembers it from his parents. I find that hard to believe as well. My oldest daughter told me to ignore it and not make a big deal about it. It's a 'Big' deal to me. I moved us out to the country to get away from everything once I got legal custody. I drive him to and from school everyday. Supervise him at the park...I can't think of anywhere he's heard that word for the last two years.

He did go to one little boys birthday party three weeks ago. I wonder if it could have been there....it will be a shame if that's where he heard it. Thanks gramma22. I'll find out.

Thank you Grammy22! I talked to him tonight and it did come from that little boy whose party he went to! I'm so sad...He was the first playdate we were able to arrange since we moved here 6 months ago. We invited him over and the next day his grandpa invited us to the birthday party. Now...how do I address it with his parents and grandparents? Sheesh! I certainly don't want them playing together anymore!

Unfortunately that word is accepted and used frequently. I didn't know the existed until I was in my thirties! When we gained custody of our five year old grandson, we quickly found out that the word had become part of his vocabulary. He used it school and we got calls from principal. We tried simple corrections, suggested words that could be used in , place of it, time outs etc but nothing seemed to work. One day I had enough and decided to use a tactic I had learned from the nuns. I sat him down at the dining room table and write the word until he filled both sides of the paper. He complied and went out to play. Shortly thereafter a contractor came to discuss our new deck, forgetting the
f..... paper was on the table! I explained but felt embarrassed. He had learned the word from his stepmother and her friends. We set rules that it was not allowed in our home and things did improve as he became more aware. The problem is that it's everywhere today used by kids and adults. I wouldn't get too upset. He's responding to the other adults teaching him. Instead of referring to "my house", try saying "our" house to give him a sense of belonging.

He must have heard it somewhere. When my grandson was 3 years old he was living with his parents -- at the time his hair was still very blonde and his eyes are still a sparkling blue. So here is this little 3 year old white kid say the N word. His parents were shocked because they never use that type of racist language. Where did he hear it --- from the neighbors where the mom is white and the father is African American. The couple also had a 3 year old boy who plays with grandson and the boy called my grandson the N word. Grandson had no idea what it meant and we had to explain to him that particular word is to NEVER be used and that his little friend should not use it as well but the words the little boy used is his parents responsibility.

He probably heard it at the birthday party. It's amazing how kids learn this type of language at such a young age. Some households are very casual about how words are used and don't really care.