Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
What a mess these people put us through, huh?
I can't tell you what to do, but here's what I would do if I were in that situation:
I'd go through with the shower, since it's kind of late to call it off. Then I would gently tell both of them that they have to work things out one way or the other, and let me know what the outcome is. I would totally stay out of that one, for sure!
No real need to step in, anyway, since the bio-mom is still taking care of the kids. Enjoy your freedom while you can!
I'm with Sara, we can't tell you what to do we can only tell you what we would...
Both of the bios are adults and not young adults. This is their problem. I would stay out of it. As Sara said go ahead with the shower but after that just politely say to the DIL... "I'm sorry you guys are going through this and I really hate it but (son) is an adult and I can't control him and I... I am going to have to stay out of this one. I will be there for you and the kids and help you all I can but you and (son) are going to have to figure this one out on you own."
I would not be judgmental or take sides, IF for some reason the do not get back together and this is your GC you will want to keep a civil relationship with the DIL for the GC. and IF you later find out it is not your GC then you can cross that bridge when you come to it.
Good Luck and Welcome!
Again thanks and i keep u all posted. I feel like this is a reality show.
Bigi