Thanks to our eldest (who was cutting) I've gotten good at sussing out depressing poetry. This is "My Heartstrings Come Undone" by Demon Hunter. Nice, uplifting name, huh? LOL

If there's any way you can get a consent form from your attorney, you could take him to a local bank and have it notarized if he's in the mood. That's what we did with Pinky. We took advantage of one of her visits because otherwise we may not see her again for months.

For the consent form, you would need his full name, full birthdate and a reason why he has no permanent address, though.

Oh, I didn't think to ask for the form before we meet! I'll ask my lawyer!

I believe the burden on him is to update his address. Don't try too hard. Let the lawyer send a letter. Look up adoption laws in your state and check procedures. As far as I know, if you cannot find his current address with reasonable effort, you place an ad in the newspaper. I believe this would hold up in court. Are you seeing a lawyer who specializes in family law? Be careful about making deals. He could use that against you in court. Consider the money the cost of the adoption.

Daisy, She specializes in family law. I've made several efforts to "find" an address for him but he just lives wherever someone will take him in. Our lawyer just likes to cover all the bases...I don't feel he would ever come back and contest but why chance it if I can just get him served. He will not show in court (he doesn't own a vehicle, and he has a suspended license). He said he'd sign the guardianship papers (he was never available) and never bothered to show up in court.

If the bios don't respond or sign consent forms, and don't show up for the hearing, they'll most likely lose anyway. The only problem is that it can create additional expense on the part of the attorney, who has to place ads, look up addresses and often argue the lack of response with the surrogate.

Our lawyer told us that she could proceed without the one bio-dad's consent form, but did say she'd have some explaining to do - which, of course, would rack up more hours. I believe his mother finally got him to sign and sent it to the lawyer, though.

I was looking on line the other day for the state of MA for voluntary termination of parental rights. What I found is just a very simple typed letter that needs to be signed and notorized in front of two witnesses.

"
Massachusetts G.L. c. 210, 2 creates a mechanism for parents to surrender their children to another individual or entity for the purpose of permitting the child to be adopted. Under the statute, in order to effectuate a consent and surrender, the parent must execute a form document, in the presence of a notary and two witnesses, that authorizes the voluntary and unconditional surrender of the child to the care and custody of an adoption agency or other individual for the purpose of adoption or such other disposition as may be made by a court of competent jurisdiction. M.G.L. c. 210, 2. The form further provides that the parent, by signing the form, waives his or her right to notice of any legal proceeding affecting the custody, guardianship, adoption or other disposition of [the] child. Id. The execution of the document is conducted without court oversight or involvement; for the consent and waiver to be valid, the only further action that must be taken is that a copy of the document must be filed with the Department of Social Services (DSS). No colloquy must be conducted with the parent by any court to determine if the waiver was voluntary, knowing and intelligent, nor must a court determine whether the parents unilateral action was in the childs best interest."

The form of such consent shall be as follows:

I, as the (relationship) of (name of child), age , of the sex, born in (place of birth), on (date of birth), do hereby voluntarily and unconditionally surrender (child) to the care and custody of (agency or person receiving custody) for the purpose of adoption or such other disposition as may be made by a court of competent jurisdiction. I waive notice of any legal proceeding affecting the custody, guardianship, adoption or other disposition of (child).
I UNDERSTAND THAT THIS SURRENDER IS FINAL AND CANNOT BE REVOKED.
/s/ (person giving consent)
On this day of (insert year), before me personally came and appeared and in my presence duly executed the foregoing instrument, and (he, she) acknowledged to me that (he, she) executed the same as (his, her) free act and deed, fully cognizant of its irrevocability.
Date
State of
Notary Public
County of
Signed by (name of person giving consent) as (his, her) freely executed consent in the presence of each of us, and of each other, who thereafter have hereunto signed our names as witnesses.
/s/
Address
/s/
s/
Address

Grammy22: That is so helpful for us as MA residents. I am hoping one day bio (my son) will ask what we can do stop child support, and I will hand him this. His ego is way too enormous for comprehension of such a move now, but money talks, and certainly for him.

I would like to have one of these on hand in case I ever run into bio mom but I can not play the money card on her since she gives me no money for the kids.

Here's exactly how our consent form reads, with notations how certain paragraphs have been laid out:

[NAME AND ADDRESS OF ATTORNEY]
Attorney for Plaintiffs, [You and Your Husbands Names]

[IN THE LEFT-HAND COLUMN OPPOSITE THE COURT INFORMATION]
________________________________________
IN THE MATTER OF THE ADOPTION :
OF CHILD BY :
[YOU and YOUR HUSBANDS NAME] :


________________________________________

[IN THE RIGHT-HAND COLUMN OPPOSITE THE IN THE MATTER OF THE ADOPTION PARAGRAPH]

SUPERIOR COURT OF STATE
CHANCERY DIVISION-FAMILY PART
COUNTY

CIVIL ACTION

DOCKET NO:

CONSENT BY NATURAL FATHER

I, [BIO FATHERS FULL NAME], a/k/a [ANY ALIASES], hereby certifies:

1. On [DATE], in [NAME OF HOSPITAL], [STREET ADDRESS, TOWN, STATE], [FULL NAME OF CHILD] was born unto [BIO FATHERS FULL NAME], his/her natural father and [FULL NAME OF MOTHER], his/her natural mother.

2. On [DATE YOU GOT CUSTODY], an Order was entered granting custody of {CHILDS FULL NAME] to Plaintiffs, [YOU AND YOUR HUSBANDS FULL NAMES], the maternal/paternal grandparents of the child.

3. [CHILDs FULL NAME] has continuously resided with the Plaintiffs, [YOU AND YOUR HUSBANDS FULL NAME] since on or about [DATE].

4. I hereby consent willingly to the adoption of my child, [CHILS FULL NAME], by the Plaintiffs, [YOU AND YOUR HUSBANDS FULL NAME] who are the maternal/paternal grandparents and the legal and physical custodians of the child to be adopted.

I certify that the foregoing statements made by me are true. I am aware that if any of the foregoing statements made by me are willfully false, I am subject to punishment.

Dated: _______________________ ____________________________________________
[TYPED FULL NAME OF BIO FATHER]
[a/k/a TYPED ALIASES]

STATE OF ___________________________ :
COUNTY OF _________________________ : SS


Be it remembered, that on this _______ day of _________, 2014, before me, the Subscribed, a Notary Public of the State of ________________, personally appeared [FULL NAME OF BIO FATHER], a/k/a [ANY ALIASES], natural father of the child to be adopted, who, I am satisfied, is the person mentioned in the within consent, to whom I first made known the contents thereof, and thereupon he acknowledged that he signed, sealed and delivered the same as and for his voluntary act and deed, for the uses and purposes therein expressed.


______________________
Notary Public

The above is for New Jersey

Red, I think you have said it all. The burden is on him to show up. It sounds like your lawyer is following the process.

Sara, placing the classified ad does not require much on attorney's part and should be minimal cost. You can also place ad yourself and send copy to lawyer.

Thank you for your input. I'm just hoping he calls!