I think it might be time to get honest with your GS, on his level, of course. He needs to understand his dad is dangerous in the event he does turn up somewhere to charm & manipulate him. My adopted son is 6 1/2. I would tell him......

I feel so bad for you right now. I often search for what is age appropriate, what will do harm, what will cause interest, it is so hard to know how the child will take what we say.

GMa have a good point, our kids have a natural desire to know their bio's and he may be taken in.

Prayers for wisdom and guidance. My best advice, tell the school, church, boy-scouts, what ever group he is in, emphasizing it is confidential so the other adults will keep a closer watch on him.

Maybe take him to the park to ride his bike so you will have a reason to be watching him so close...?

I would also tell him. Why do we need to let these kids think their parents are some kind of saint? I never talk bad about my Gd's mother but I also do not hide the fact that she is a drug addict and in and out of the mental ward. She told them herself that she had problems but she was cured. If the girls ask where Mommy is they are told in the hospital or at home, where ever she happens to be at the moment.

I would rather be honest with them then some day have to admit I was not telling them the truth. They do not need all the details but the basic facts.

What I've told him when he was crying for a dad was his father loved him when he was born but was too young to be a dad and made bad decisions and is not safe to be around kids. Unfortunately my gs forgets things and may not remember or understand the not safe part.

I am hoping bios sister will pick him up and take him to another state with her, and this may not be an issue. But if she were to help him find us or he ends up local because of fellow gang members then I will have more reason to be anxious.
Honestly I've considered buying a gun, but afraid to have in house with young kids.
I alerted teacher to be aware and be certain he doesn't have any contact with people not on my specific list. .... My other daughter takes care of them after school so may ask her to do it at her house this week.i don't want to live in fear but my nerves are stressed at the moment.
I've heard kids internalize that they might be bad people because their parents are bad, and that's why I have t told him how abusive bio was. He also struck biomom during pregnancy so his abuse wasn't confined to a couple instances. His brothers have been in and out of prison for armed robbery, breaking and entering , although they are all out now . His sister stayed out of trouble but thinks he does no wrong.. She tried to convince dss not to give gs to me because I told her her brother would never go near my gs again...and even after her brother confessed to hitting gs while sister and biomom were out buying dinner, she still said in court somehow he was covering for biomom???
They came back, found injury and took gs to hospital....
I've heard his mother was afraid of him, and once when all 3 of her sons were in jail she remarked"at least I'll have a peacefull Christmas"

Do you think you'd have enough to get a restraining order against him? That way, you'd have grounds to call the police the moment he showed up.

If our court systems were working there would be an order that this man not be allowed around any children. That should have been a condition of his release. What a screwed up world we live in.

Considering the fact he abused him as a newborn, I would certainly think a restraining order would be granted. Are you afraid it kihjt "taunt" him?

Problem with restraining order is it would have to have adress on it and I'm hoping he doesn't find out where we live. If he does show up I will call police and get restraining order.

I think I might understand some of your fears. I feel the same fear.....from my own son!
I DID buy a gun.
I did take a gun class and got my concealed handgun lisc.
I also have gone to the shooting range to practice using it.
When the gun is here at home it is kept up high in a locked gun case. My GS is 10 and I realize how important it is to keep the gun locked up. It was a tough decision for me to purchase a gun.....and I had to be SURE I would actually be able to use it. (I pray that I will never have to use it)
I hope you do not have to relocate, but I understand that part of it too. Sending prayers your way for God to help you through this difficult time and to help you find some peace about this.

I would again ask about a restraining order, I am sure you can get one that would not give your address to the bio. I hope I am not wrong but honestly is our court system that stupid to give a victims address out?

They probably do list the address for legal reasons......the person can't come within so many feet of the person and the residence........

I'm so sorry, it's scary. We had a similar thing and I do have a concealed weapon carry permit because of it. Not really something I ever wanted (not because of bio-dad but bio-mom's abusive boyfriend). We bit a huge bullet and moved to different town like you did., not fool proof but it made me feel better. You can contact your local law enforcement or victims advocate and make them aware of the situation. School, neighbors, etc that you trust should be told too to help keep a watchful eye out.

We have a lawyer who handled our part of this mess and anytime that bio-dad decides to try and contact us he will be referred to our lawyer. Our custody papers say his visitation is up to us. He'll have to really work it if he wants to see the kids. Sometimes if they know it won't be a cake walk and require work on their part they won't pursue it.

Hopefully he'll be too busy trying to mooch off people and keeping out of jail again to bother you guys.