Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Last night was a great eye opener . I have a new mommy vehicle and it makes phone calls. So I had the two little ones in the car and they wanted to call their mom. Dd answers the phone with her abusive bf on speaker phone. Now since my DD moved and I saw bf helping, I said he was back into her life. My little GD insisted this was not true and he was just there to help.
Before bf talked my GD was talking up a storm to mom about her upcoming birthday. Once bf chimed in no more words came out of her mouth. The conversation was more with the little guy before we hung up.
Once we hung up my 8 year old looked up at me and said... You knew he was living with her didn't you? I explained to my little girl that I wasn't For sure, but that her mommy is my daughter and I know her well, as well as I'm learning to know her too.
I asked her how she feels right now, she told me she didn't want to see him or the new place. I told her that mommy can come over to our house and visit and even do sleep overs if she wants as long as she behaves herself while she visits. In her look my 8yr old seemed surprise that I wasn't trying to keep them from their mom. I told her my job is to make sure you and brother are safe. If he can hurt your mom, then he can hurt you or your brother. If your mom wants to live with that choice, that's her and we are not going to look down at her, but we are going to protect us.
I understand gramma,. This is the biggest mile stone I have crossed since adopting these two kids. My DD is so manipulative and my 8yr old has lived most of her life with her mother I was really worried we might not have the chance to reach my little girl. It looks like just loving and support and being there for her, she is feeling secure and is seeing the crazy side she use to live as normal and she is seeing it on her own.
I got home and decided that since the kids want to celebrate their moms birthday here, DD needs to know bf is not welcomed. I texted this and that we are not going to tell her how to live, but also she can sleepover and visit here without him. Of course I didn't get a reply from her.
It doesn't matter if I get one or not. My little girl is growing up and she is becoming part of the family!
Before bf talked my GD was talking up a storm to mom about her upcoming birthday. Once bf chimed in no more words came out of her mouth. The conversation was more with the little guy before we hung up.
Once we hung up my 8 year old looked up at me and said... You knew he was living with her didn't you? I explained to my little girl that I wasn't For sure, but that her mommy is my daughter and I know her well, as well as I'm learning to know her too.
I asked her how she feels right now, she told me she didn't want to see him or the new place. I told her that mommy can come over to our house and visit and even do sleep overs if she wants as long as she behaves herself while she visits. In her look my 8yr old seemed surprise that I wasn't trying to keep them from their mom. I told her my job is to make sure you and brother are safe. If he can hurt your mom, then he can hurt you or your brother. If your mom wants to live with that choice, that's her and we are not going to look down at her, but we are going to protect us.
I understand gramma,. This is the biggest mile stone I have crossed since adopting these two kids. My DD is so manipulative and my 8yr old has lived most of her life with her mother I was really worried we might not have the chance to reach my little girl. It looks like just loving and support and being there for her, she is feeling secure and is seeing the crazy side she use to live as normal and she is seeing it on her own.
I got home and decided that since the kids want to celebrate their moms birthday here, DD needs to know bf is not welcomed. I texted this and that we are not going to tell her how to live, but also she can sleepover and visit here without him. Of course I didn't get a reply from her.
It doesn't matter if I get one or not. My little girl is growing up and she is becoming part of the family!
doctortyper: Maybe your DD fianc' is just scared or feeling uneasy. I'm sure you have offered your friendship to him even though your DD is no longer able. Maybe if you keep trying to offer he might come around. If not my story is about my mother-in-law. My BIL passed away at a young age due t suicide. He had twin girls just over a year old. My SIL moved to another state and didn't respond to anything regarding my MIL. My MIL every x-mas and birthday made sure she sent a gift and card. However, without any information she didn't know if the girls received the gifts or not. My MIL prayed that someday she would have a relationship with the GDs she missed dearly. Her prayers were answered when the girls turned 19 they found her and wrote letters and sent cards and pictures they had of them growing up and present. The girls told her, their mother never really allowed much talk of their father and wanted to know everything about him she was able to tell. The sad part was my MIL passed away before they had a chance to meet, but she always held dear to her prayer being answered and enjoyed sharing with the rest of the family the girls accomplishments and pictures.
Believe in the power of prayer and never give up!