Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Okay..I have been raising my now 1 yr old grand daughter since her father and girlfriend split up in October 2013.
Her father, my son, has bought her a few diapers, wipes, clothes, etc when he has been able to do it. The last time was about 2 months ago when he got his State income tax refund.
I took the baby down to see her father on her birthday. He & his new girlfriend, the baby , myself, and the 6 yr old grand daughter went out and had pizza and then later ice cream. We had a nice and calm visit.
Now I have been told that he has been kicked out of where he was staying......and I don't know with or without girlfriend and her kids. I have no idea where he is. He knows he can not come back here to stay due to his past behaviors and actions. Someone told us that he has moved out of state.
Now what do I do? I have no legal rights to the child but did get son to sign paper work so I can take her to the doctor, get shots, etc.
I haven't pushed on legal issues due to fear he would come and take her and disappear with her. He does not have his life together....no steady job, home,etc. He doesn't want to have to take care of his daughter for more then a few hours at a time. He does love her in his own way or right but isn't ready to care for a child.
How long do I wait if he has skipped the state? I had contact with him just about 1 month ago. I haven't had any since then but that isn't unusual either for him.
Her father, my son, has bought her a few diapers, wipes, clothes, etc when he has been able to do it. The last time was about 2 months ago when he got his State income tax refund.
I took the baby down to see her father on her birthday. He & his new girlfriend, the baby , myself, and the 6 yr old grand daughter went out and had pizza and then later ice cream. We had a nice and calm visit.
Now I have been told that he has been kicked out of where he was staying......and I don't know with or without girlfriend and her kids. I have no idea where he is. He knows he can not come back here to stay due to his past behaviors and actions. Someone told us that he has moved out of state.
Now what do I do? I have no legal rights to the child but did get son to sign paper work so I can take her to the doctor, get shots, etc.
I haven't pushed on legal issues due to fear he would come and take her and disappear with her. He does not have his life together....no steady job, home,etc. He doesn't want to have to take care of his daughter for more then a few hours at a time. He does love her in his own way or right but isn't ready to care for a child.
How long do I wait if he has skipped the state? I had contact with him just about 1 month ago. I haven't had any since then but that isn't unusual either for him.
Then hope your son contacts you. Set up a nice lunch and serve him with the permanent guardianship papers. Chasing our kids bio dad cost us 3k. We'll never do that again. Finally we told him we wanted to meet for breakfast, he agreed and we served him. The breakfast cost less than 50.00 dollars. After weeks of hiring a service he kept avoiding.
There are ways of gaining full and permanent custody with a great lawyer that will not alienate your son and can provide priceless peace of mind for you and a permanent home for your grandchild.
Just the fact that your son is gone and you don't know where he is, is a pretty good sign (if you want to call it that!) that you are going to have permanent custody with no problems whatsoever. He has already abandoned the child. This is the time to act.
I don't mean to sound like a Know It All. But I was in a similar position a couple years ago and really wish I had someone to tell me to do this. It would have saved a lot of pain, suffering and time.
I will be praying for you! I know it's hard! Good luck!!!
I talked and even saw my son tonight. He is still in the same town he was living in and in fact has been working a stable job for 2 months now, has his own place to live ( trailer house), has a bank account...and is wanting to see his daughter more often and perhaps have her on weekends ONLY for awhile. So these are all good things in my book.
He has an older couple there that has taken him under their wings and are trying to help keep him on the right track and to keep making positive progress with his life. I told him tonight that I was very impressed and hope that he would keep working on making his life better. It sounds like he is going to be a single male for awhile and I suggested that that might be a good thing to do for awhile.
So we will see about setting up weekend only visitation after I get back in June. He wants to get his phone turned back on and is willing to help pay the back bill on it.
So I feel a lot better but also know that he has a long ways to go before he is ready to be a full time father to his daughter. At least he is making positive progress for a change with his life and for that I am thrilled!
So for now, life will continue on as it has. I did tell him that I was going to be gone for a week and who was going to be watching baby girl while I was gone. He wasn't thrilled but did understand.