I know that feeling, Fortress.
That's what makes it so ironic when the bios claim that we wanted to "steal" their kids. They have no clue that that is the last thing any of us ever wanted to do. We were all looking forward to retirement, traveling, or just sitting quietly reading and gardening all day long. They have no idea that they have destroyed our last chance to enjoy our own lives.

It goes to show how much their brains have stopped working.

Thank you for your response, Sara.... it means alot.

Another irony: If they were raising their own kids and not doing a great job, we would either give advice or grit our teeth and remain silent. But in the end, they would still have their kids and we would still have our lives.

But they have gone so far over the top by abusing, neglecting or outright abandoning their kids that someone had to step in. They forced our hands by being so outright horrific as parents -- or worse -- disinterested. And then they have the nerve to act as if we just came along and said "oh, I think I'd like to raise someone else's children in my 40s, 50s, or 60s."

Yeah, right.

Many of times I wanted to dig a hole in the back yard and curl up in it forever. Sara is so right on. It's better for me since the adoption, but how I would love to just have my life and not have to be living for another generation of raising kids.... 15 years to go!

I've had alot of crying spells lately myself. If nothing else, I guess it's a stress reliever; although sometimes I cry so hard I'm afraid I might rupture something. I had to go out in the garage and sit in my car one night last week to keep from waking up the boys with my wailing. I'm surprised none of the neighbors heard me and called the police. Does everyone remember that bubble bath commercial, "Calgon.........take me away." That's how I've been feeling.........only I need something much more miraculous than a bubble bath!!!