That bond, that momma/child bond, it doesn't matter what she has done, her babies are going to love her. And if they start to pull away from her because they realize you provide the stable life, guilt sets in and they don't know how to deal with it. There is a reason you have legal custody, it's due to her actions and decisions, not yours. Don't feel guilty. The poor kids, they don't understand. But before you start thinking about her getting the kids back, give some thought to whether you are willing to take the baby if she messes up big time and loses it too. We have had this discussion in our home, do we just keep taking them in because she keeps giving birth? We are in our 60s and think 3 is enough,

I have 1 gs he's 6 l've had him for 5 years this summer when my daughter was pregnant he was the same a always wanted his Mom she wanted to work at getting him more often now her baby my gd IAS 6 months and a few weeks ago she text me that she was gonna call CAS to take the baby and she was gonna move to another city with an ex bf that just got out of jail. I told her that was a good idea because gd be adopted out and have a chance of a good life, well she freaked on me because I'm sure she wanted me to say don't do that l will take her like l did with gs, she didn't expect t me to say that. She would love me to have gd then she could visit once and awhile and play mommy and poast picks on Facebook and let all her friend think she still has the kids. I wouldn't worry about your daughter getting the kids chances are she just want to get all the recognition with my experience these bios will always screw up like chonna said once she screws up again you also might have to worry about taking the 6 month old or making the same decision l did not to.

My daughter forgets why I called CPS and I have to remind her that she and her partner were neglecting the children and thankfully the reminder shuts her up for a while. I suspect her partner who has disappeared from the children's lives sees me as an evil bitch but I can't do anything about what he thinks or feels

You know why you have your grandson and your daughter probably has forgotten why her son was taken from her. She probably doesn't want to revisit her neglectful or abusive treatment of her son. I'm so sorry you are hurting.

Even neglectful and abusive parents believe they love their children.

Scgramma, I know how you feel.

We've had our three for almost 10 years, and we've given them everything a child could want or need. Our love, our time, material things and more. Pinky comes and goes as she pleases - sometimes gone for months, then here every weekend. Then gone again. And when she's here she sleeps half the time and spends the rest of the time on the phone (probably lining up her escort clients).

And the kids think she's the BVM come down from heaven.

I think that hurts more than anything. We have literally rescued these kids from the pits of hell, and they still think the bios are the most wonderful people on the face of the earth.

scgramma, I know how you feel. We have raised my Gd for over 10 years. Her Mom my ex-dinl is just the best in her eyes. Yeah, she see's her once a month maybe. A school achievement and it's Thanks Mom. This time I beat her and mom to the punch. last Saturday was the V-dance. Gd was all dressed up. I took a picture and posted it, saying my baby girl was ready for the dance.

Gd has a sweet 16 B-day coming up. Mom wants a party. Good go for it, we'll kick back and enjoy. Gd states she only wants to invite one of her friends because she is to embarrassed to invite her IB friends to be with her family. She wants us to host the IB party.

I don't even know how to respond !

It's a tough space to be in. But if she leaves town again he will have you to be stable. Sometimes I think children can't bear the thought of rejection from their parent so they idolize them. My son moved back home (he was 1000 miles away) and brought his 3 little ones (at the time 4 months, 2 and 3). I thought they were visiting for a while. Well one year later and close to $10,000 in lawyer fees he has sole legal custody . She has not visited once or sent one gift and still my 4 yr old grand daughter wants her mother so much. Just this morning the usually I want my mommy cries. How do you stay from getting bitter I haven't figured out yet.

I've had my grandkids since birth. They know I'm not bio mom, I'm mom and I've never labeled our family. I'm mom. Period. I do everything a mom does. My husband is dad. That is the normal in our family. As a result my grandkids have the opposite reaction they would never want to spend a night at bio moms house. This is our normal. We don't talk about how they should have been with bio, etc. so far so good they are doing great in school. They never ask for bios and we are Thier normal. I'm not blind to the fact that this might change. But I will always treat us like the normal. I dont want them for a second to feel different. The burden of feeling different and like losers should be Thier bios not theirs.