Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Well, I live in Southern California....A social worker just left our house to approve our house for my 2 month old grandson to live. Of course my story like others here is long so I am, at this point just asking for support from all here.
Right now my husband is a little upsept that I said yes we would take in my grandson (grandson is my bio son from my first marriage child) however; at this point I feel we need to step in. If I would of said no he would be fostered in the far away county that he was living at and it would be hard to be part of the decisions for him. I am stress about all of this but I just feel it will all work out...not sure how that it will go but I have a good feeling right now. Our biggest issue is that I have to work and money is tight it will be me doing everything because my husband maybe wanting to prove to me I made the wrong decision.
I was told I will be going to court this thursday...I am pretty much in the dark about all of this so if anyone here can give me encouragment I would appreciate it. I work at a local elementary school and I see other grandparents who raise their grandchildren. I was told that there is a kinship program that will help with a small amount of money but what I was hoping for would be a program which will pay for childcare. I pray that there will be some help because we both have to work and babies and childcare would be a hardship for us.
Well...I would appreciate any information or support from anyone here...
Thank you...
Judi
Right now my husband is a little upsept that I said yes we would take in my grandson (grandson is my bio son from my first marriage child) however; at this point I feel we need to step in. If I would of said no he would be fostered in the far away county that he was living at and it would be hard to be part of the decisions for him. I am stress about all of this but I just feel it will all work out...not sure how that it will go but I have a good feeling right now. Our biggest issue is that I have to work and money is tight it will be me doing everything because my husband maybe wanting to prove to me I made the wrong decision.
I was told I will be going to court this thursday...I am pretty much in the dark about all of this so if anyone here can give me encouragment I would appreciate it. I work at a local elementary school and I see other grandparents who raise their grandchildren. I was told that there is a kinship program that will help with a small amount of money but what I was hoping for would be a program which will pay for childcare. I pray that there will be some help because we both have to work and babies and childcare would be a hardship for us.
Well...I would appreciate any information or support from anyone here...
Thank you...
Judi
In my case it was the opposite -- our three grandchildren are from my husband's daughter. I wasn't thrilled one little bit when we got the phone call from his daughter's boyfriend, telling us he would be dropping the kids off within the hour.
I'm still not thrilled, but I knew that they would be better off with us than split up and placed in different foster homes.
I think the question to ask yourself is: What will you do if more grandchildren come along? My husband's daughter swore she wouldn't have any more children after the first, then the second, then the third were born. She was able to hold it together enough for about five years before her drugs took over.
Thank God she got her tubes tied after the third.
This is the hardest thing I've ever done - harder, even, than caring for my mother with Alzheimer's for five years. I'm not a "little kid person" to begin with, never wanted nor had children of my own for that reason. But we do love our grandchildren, so we soldier on.
I envy those who have just one grandchild - three is so over-the-top it's insane! LOL
Anyway, stick around. This is a great place to vent, ask for advice -- and get all the encouragement you need.
Well, it is 6 a.m. and I better get my girls and myself going for school and work. I was told they will be bringing my GS here today after 4 p.m.
Please...pray for us
I am a single 43 yo GMa taking care of my son's little boy who is almost 3. I've been fostering him for over a year now. I was engaged to be married last October to the man I've been "dating" for the past 9 years. Me taking on my GS caused the wedding to be cancelled and also caused a short break-up. We're back together, but we haven't talked about marriage anymore. I have a court date coming up and dont' know whether the judge will continue the case, allowing family services to keep trying to work with bios, or whether the judge will say enough is enough. I'm hoping to get subsidized guardianship - which would continue paying for daycare. Right now, while he's in foster care, the state pays for his medical, his childcare, and a monthly stipend for all of his other expenses, so I am VERY blessed with that. I think IL has one of the better programs for help. I'm completely unaware of what's available to you in CA. You just have to get on the internet and start researching. You will find links in different posts on this board, too.
Blessings to you. Try not to get too stressed out. We've all been there & somehow, things seem to work out.
Welcome! We've been raising our GS since his birth and he'll be 17 in Sept. I was 42 when he was born. It's all been worth it & I've never regretted raising him. This is a great group for support.
I have 2 grandkids now. One is 6 and we have had her since birth, the other is 18 months old and he just joined us in Dec 2009 when he was 13 months old.
I am the only one employed in our family, my husband is disabled but has been denied disability so we are appealing. I fully understand about the day care. He was able to take care of the oldest one all the time and we didn't need day care, he is not able to take care of littlest one (6yrs later and several surgeries) but since he was denied disability the judge said we did not qualify for child care benefits that the hubby could take care of him.
So add another child and daycare to our already stressed budget and I totally get your situation. EXCEPT my husband is very supportive and wants the kids here because he could not (his words)"live with myself knowing I didn't do something to protect them and find them dead one day"
No it's not easy, but it is worth it and it is very rewarding even though sometimes you have to look pretty hard to realize the rewards
Pray a lot, play a lot, laugh when you can and cry when you can't. it will all work out
Glad to have you here!
We have guardianship through an attorney and it will be 2 years this November. So many things that I still don't understand. The state pays 100% of daycare and 100% of insurance and we are very grateful for that. Judge awarded mother visitation with her parents every weekend. That has been a problem lately and I'm not sure how to handle.
I wonder how different everything would have been if we went through state services but I am not comfortable going that route so for now we are just plugging on. I have received lots of comfort, humor and knowledge through this site and I thank every one of you for that. I will also try to post more.