I finally have an appointment for a scope July 2nd and in the mean time I'm worried about the possibility of esophageal cancer for one. I try to relax as much as possible and not focus on the uncomfortable feelings I have in my stomach and throat, but it's getting progressively difficult. It's hard not to focus on something that you feel 24/7 and the fact that I've had this for eight years and have now gone back to square one is depressing to say the least. I've gone from a choking feeling in the throat, to mild pain, and when I eat my chest also hurts now where it also just felt mostly pressure. I can't believe after being on Nexium for all this time that I would get this bad all over again. I've put myself on a cancelation list to get in for a scope sooner if possible, but no one in their right mind gives up a scope appointment and I don't blame them.

In the mean time it's difficult for a person who has general anxiety to relax but believe me I try. I do have a hesitation when swallowing sometimes, but still have an appetite in spite of the pain of food going down my esophagus. I'm being really stupid in scouring the net daily for signs and symptoms and it's so hard to distinguish between just gerd or something turned cancerous. I don't tell anyone how I feel because I'm embarrassed about my anxiety lately, but I had to come in and message here, even to feel a bit better inside about what's going on. In my mind I'm already rehearsing how I'll tell my family I have cancer and lately have put myself in tears. It's going to be a long six weeks waiting for the scope, this is awful to have to go through. I'm thinking if I come out of this okay again, that I'll look into Nissen Fundoplication, right now it feels as though it's a big "IF"

My apologies for sounding so forlorn and dramatic, having a really bad day.