Congratulations starting to accept this part of yourself. It can be very difficult, but also very rewarding.
No matter where or when you do this, please protect yourself by having safer sex, and letting your partner know what you will or won't do beforehand.
There are millions of guys out there who would love, LOVE to help you lose your gay virginity, it's an incredible turn on for a lot of guys. This means you can be choosy. If you have access to a private computer, you can go online to places like gay.com, where you can chat or message before meeting up. (Be aware that online profiles are notoriously dishonest, as are horny drunk guys in bars, for that matter.)
You might be surprised that there are guys closer to home than you thought. I'd encourage you to talk to them and find out what they like and if that works for you. You are taking a pretty big step here, so it might as well be with someone who turns you on, right?
Last, don't put too much pressure on yourself or the situation. By your post, I'm guessing your first time isn't going to be your last, so if it isn't perfect, let it go and try again!
Tim
PS We have some real experts on great sex here, so feel free to ask any questions you have...just be ready for at least 69 different answers, lol

Tim, thanks for the quick and great advices. It took alot of reading and going on line to convince myself that I owe no one having to be in the closet. I just want to make sure I am right before I rush into things or jump into conclusions.

Thnaks for your advice and thanks for adding me as a freind.

Take care! I will too.

#1~ALWAYS PLAY SAFE...remember it's your own life you have to guard, and let's just say that people aren't always honest or don't know their status. Don't do anything risky.

Tim gives excellent advice, and all I can add is that you are right, the closet is a toxic place no one wants to be in, it's not healthy. The sooner you can get completely out of it, the better. But you have to move at your own pace in making your decisions and accepting whatever consequences come with them. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Don't feel you have to jump into one nighters, unless that's what you want. there is no pressure on you whatsoever. Since you are a "virgin" so to speak, you are the one doing the choosing, so make it special. As Tim said,"There are millions of guys out there who would love, LOVE to help you lose your gay virginity, it's an incredible turn on for a lot of guys." He's right, it's an ego thing for a lot of them. Just be careful.

Welcome to the site- and keep us posted. We're here to help however we can. Take care.

Thank you both. I am not a first nighter. I will be very calm and careful. I really appreciate your advice.

palm springs.. there millions of dl cases running around there..just be safe and use a condom!!

You don't mention anything about connecting emotionally with men. Do you care about that part? You know, being gay is not just looking around for men to have sex.

You don't need to go to NYC or SF to find men for sex. I'm quite sure there are plenty in your area.

As the others say, your health and personal safety come first. Your dignity and self respect come first too. Don't get involved in anything that you might later regret.

I am not an advocate of irresponsible anonymous sex. There's nothing wrong with meeting a person (even if it's just for sex) that can be aware of your needs (and give a damn).

I have never had gay sex. I just want to try it before I come out publicly.

I agree with Hippo1010 Andy, Don't have sex just to have sex. Get to know the person first and let it go from there.

If money is not a limitation, get a nice hotel room and shop around! SF is a much more romantic city, at least that is my opinion. There are plenty of places to meet people and have an encounter or two. Have on hand plenty of condoms and lube, towels. Buy some flowers for yourself to have in the room.

I personally find sex much better with my partner who I really know. I found that sex is better now than the first time 20 years ago. Thats just my experience.

I know the feeling however of wanting to know what its like. i can remember wondering who it will be exactly, and what it will be like. I am sorry to say that the first time was a huge disappointment for me. I was so nervous, didn't know what to do or how to behave. The guy was very attractive, but perhaps a little too experienced. He wasn't supportive at all for me emotionally, and expressed some disappointment with my experience. But when i told him that was my absolute first time he said he wished i told him. He said things would have been different, and perhaps he might not have done anything with me. Not to deprive me of anything, just that I was just the entertainment for the day, and didn't mean anything. He wanted things to be better for me.

Thanks. I will go with you all. There has to be an emotional attachment. I agree.

Andy the place is Sydney , Australia!!!!!!! As an educator I would be honored to...well it was worth a try.
Andy do have man on man sex when you think it is right. Don't be pressured to do what you don't want to do.
Always have safe sex, some water based lube and relax.