Gay Men's Challenges Support Group
This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.
Hello. I am new here, and my name is Daniel. I am new here, and have almost never had sex, even though I am nearing my 50s. I am just a painfully shy man, who has had no luck with online dating and does not go to bars or clubs. I can't drink, due to a liver transplant, and I can't hear in loud places because I have a profound (but not complete) hearing loss. I am a really good place in my life right now, and I am ready to find true love. But where to look? I don't want one-night stands or hookups. I'm looking for a life partner to form a strong friendship with first, a friendship that can blossom into love. Everyone at church is already with someone. I am too busy at work to even hardly interact with my coworkers. I have gone back to trying a few online dating sites this year, but the results have from non-existent to disasters. Is there anybody out there? Any assistance anyone can give would be profoundly appreciated. Thank you.
I came out in college and had pretty good luck meeting people at bars and also in gay groups. After college I moved from a small southern hick town to Southern California, so of course even back in the late 80s, resources for the gay community were numerous.
I get it bars are not a good option for you, and in general not the best anyway! Are you in an area that has any gay groups? For example, back in the day I belonged to a gay cycling club, a gay pilot's association, a gay engineers group, and a gay camping group. That's right, Campy Campers!
Do you live in or near a big city that might have gay groups that focus on an interest of yours? Or, maybe find a group and use that as a way to develop a new interest. I'm not into singing, religion or hanging out at a gay community center, but those are probably more widely available gay groups.
You say you are busy, but while it is hard, if you really want to find a partner, it sounds like maybe you need to modify your lifestyle to make time to do what you need to do to improve your personal life. Work will take 24/7/365 if you let it, and then you die! I know, I have been a workaholic myself, trying to prove myself and my worth through work.
Anyway, just thought I'd chime in and be supportive of a fellow 50s guy!
Now, online sites are far from perfect, but Plenty of Fish is pretty good.