Gay Men's Challenges Support Group
This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.
I met a guy online and initially we were just going to hook up but decided to just take things slow. The first date we went out to dinner and at the end of the night he gave me a hug. The second date we went mini golfing and had pizza back at my place. The third and last date I made dinner (a pretty elaborate one) and we watched a movie and he gave me a kiss.
I had pretty much paid for everything on all of our dates. I sent him a text after our third date and told him that he needed to pick what we do the next time we go out and he told me he didn't know what was in my area and than I told him that I shouldn't be the one making all of the choices when we go out. He said okay and never contacted me again.I don't chase people. I figure if you want to walk out of my life than I will hold the door.
Maybe I came off as a jerk but I was very polite and I didn't think it was fair that i was paying for everything and he was just reaping the benefits. I am glad I didn't continue dating him but I was just curious if anyone has experience with men who take take take and don't give?
I had pretty much paid for everything on all of our dates. I sent him a text after our third date and told him that he needed to pick what we do the next time we go out and he told me he didn't know what was in my area and than I told him that I shouldn't be the one making all of the choices when we go out. He said okay and never contacted me again.I don't chase people. I figure if you want to walk out of my life than I will hold the door.
Maybe I came off as a jerk but I was very polite and I didn't think it was fair that i was paying for everything and he was just reaping the benefits. I am glad I didn't continue dating him but I was just curious if anyone has experience with men who take take take and don't give?
The issue of who pays may or may not have contributed to his decision not to contact you again. Either way, I don't think it's worth too much thought. There's a lot of great guys out there, after all.
Just be clear and truthful about what you're looking for before you go out with a guy. Are you looking for a good lay or something more substantial? Whichever it is, say so!
Yes, there are the "takers" ! Everything from con artists to guys who will take you for granted because you have a car and they need rides.
I think a bigger issue is that you put lots of time, consideration, and generosity out there.
If you make someone a special dinner, they can bring a bottle of wine.