Gay Men's Challenges Support Group
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So, I'm at one of my best friend's house right now and felt the need to ask for some advice for this situation. My friend Dave has two twin kids a girl and a boy both 9 years old. Just a few minutes ago I was outside smoking a cigarette and his son followed me outside. After sitting there right before going back into the house Dave's son said to me, "I wanna ask you a question, and I don't mean to be rude or anything, but is it true are you gay?" He then went on to saying, "I don't mind my dad having gay friends." I didn't know what to say and I asked him who said that to him and he told me his dad (my friend Dave) told him. I then said, "I'm not sure if that's something to talk about." My friend is a good friend of mine, and he's straight. I just don't know how to bring it up to my friend and if I should be concerned about it. Dave is not homophobic at all, but I don't think I should discuss my orientation with his child. I was thinking about talking to Dave about it later tonight when I can talk to him alone, but I'm not sure of how to bring it up and what to say...If anyone has some advice or anything please help! Thank you!
My little cousins have also voiced their awareness of the situation, and it's best to explain it in a simple way that children can understand.
Yes, I love another man, and this is perfectly fine. If you have questions about this, you can ask your father. He can explain it better than me.
And that's it. Don't make it an issue, because that's what we're trying to convey in the end - it isn't an issue. This is not something that children should have to feel strange about, and as long as you convey your own comfort with the fact, this child will grow up as an advocate for gay and lesbian people.
We must hope that the next generation will be better than the last, that acceptance and equality are just around the corner. And we won't achieve that by thinking that honestly dealing with the young generation is something that should be avoided. They have a right to truth - they have a need for truth. As long as the fact of the situation is not sexualized (which it should not be), then there is no problem at all in this situation.
I suggest you discuss this with your mate Dave.
This situation is about information and knowledge - not about sexuality.
In my opinion, Dave discussed your orientation with his son just to give him a heads up. This could have been a "My friend (you) is gay- and that is ok with me"
I wish I had people in my life that were so accepting of homosexuality. I think it might be goo to let Dave know his son asked you though, so he can follow up with his son in private: "So, you asked (you) if he was gay? Are you okay with what he said? Do you want to talk about it?"
There is a really good chance that his son will simply say - "yeah, I'm fine... it's all cool Dad. I just wanted to confirm it."
Regardless, Dave sounds to be a good friend. It's important to have friends. Cherish them.