Gay Men's Challenges Support Group

This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.

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Long Distance Relationship

harbourguy
harbourguy
I have been chatting with this guy in the UK for nearly three years. We have struck up a relationship and I dont know what to do about this.
He is much younger than I am ( him 21 me 46).
Does one just continue this cyber-space relationship and enjoy the fun?
He is aware of the age difference and that I am 100% gay, it would appear that he has no problem with this.
My concern is that I am falling for him, and that he upon numerous occassions has said that he has feelings for me.
WHAT DOES ONE DO IN THIS SITUATION, ANY ADVICE WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.
Thanks Chris
deleted_user
deleted_user
Communication is of vital importance here. You and him need to really be open on here you both feel about one another and see how you two will take it to the next level.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Is long distance something that would hinder such a relationship?

I know for me, if I can't cuddle with the guy I love, it's just not the same.

But for others, having an ocean between them doesn't really serve as a problem.

I think that would be the biggest obstacle. Deciding what would be the benefits and downsides of not being able to be physically near each other. And maybe someday you could actually get together in person.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have been in a fifteen year relationship with my French spouse (I am an American). Unfortunately, it is difficult for him to work in the USA, so we keep two homes; one in Paris and one in the USA.

I work a lot and travel about 70 per cent of the time, so it isn't very different than being gone and "coming home" to Paris or the USA. We see each other every month, for a week or two. Many times, he comes with me on my business trips. I've always considered our relationship healthy, because we always have so many things to talk about.

So, fifteen years and counting, I am very happy and am able to succeed in my professional life, while he doesn't lose his roots in France.

It works!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
after 11 years of living in the same house, my partner and i are doing this for the first time this year - for me, it's been devastating... he's 400 miles away and we see each other every 2 weeks for weekends.. i can't take it, it drives me crazy...
usnavydude73
usnavydude73
It's better than not having any relationship, may it be long distance or not. It's nice to have someone who have feelings for you and vice-versa. I think that is the most important thing. Now the question is, how committed are you or him to have this kind of relationship? All I know is that "Love" knows no boundaries.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just my thoughts, they are different for me than maybe for you.
I met a guy about 6 years ago now. He came from NY and stayed with me for a month, the he wanted to go to AZ to "visit" his parents. Once he got out there one thing lead to to another. I missed him and he said he wanted to be with me but its been 6 yrs now and he is still in AZ. He no longer have parents out there due to death but he has his comfortable life there and I have children here. So my thoughts are if you feel the need to be apart to have a relationship then good for you but its a heart ache for me. I wanted to feel his arms around me, cook dinner, talk about the day etc. you cant do that with an ocean or in my case a 1000 miles between you or us. Its not worth the hear ache. Keep the penpal relationship but unless you are wealthy ditch the love scene. Just my two cents.