Gay Men's Challenges Support Group

This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.

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frommywindow18 07/27/2018

i don’t know how to tell my family that I am gay. They have been my rock through the hard times and are super religious and I don’t know how they would react?

AquaForm23 07/28/2018

Hello Frommywindow18, unfortunately I can’t give you alot of advice on how to come out to your family.I can just share part of my story so you know you are not alone in you struggles. I am still in the process of coming out to my parents, but I do somewhat understand the situation you’re in. Not all of my family is super religious but a good portion of them go to church consistently and I would describe them as super religious. Not only is my family super religious but I also live in a community that does not support that “lifestyle”(homosexuality). It’s very hurtful to me because I know I can’t change who I am just like I can’t change the color of my skin so some days it’s just rough. Luckily though I have been making progress in the last year and a half. The only advice I can give you is maybe consider writing a letter to whoever you want to come out to. DO NOT MAIL THIS LETTER lol. It’s really just for you to get your thoughts in order and maybe you are brave enough you can take that next step. Also i know it’s hard but at the end of the day just try and accept who your are. I know I’m not all the way there yet but I am slowly starting to accept myself.
I wish you find happiness and acceptance in your life and good luck!

backothecloset 05/04/2019

What great advice from AquaForm23. Writing your thoughts down and practicing saying what you need to say is the best thing ever. I will say this, as the son of very conservative, evangelical, missionaries, you might be surprised. I was terrified to tell my parents that I had gotten my girlfriend pregnant and was getting married. I was pleasantly surprised but not shocked that they were calm and though clearly disappointed, still loved me while still hating my 'sin'.
It made sense actually, since they had always preached "Hate the sin not the sinner", and that God is the only one who can judge us, so just love each other. I cannot predict your parents reaction, but perhaps a sibling, or cousin would be a safe starting point especially if you have one you have a very strong relationship with. If they love you the way you say, they may even go with you to tell your parents.
Do this sooner than later. AS someone who can't follow his own advice, still struggling in the closet, you do not want to grow old with the secret.

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