A friend from work and I recently came out to each other. While I don't hide my sexuality, I don't make a big effort to clobber people over the head with it either. Most people tell me they knew anyway since I'm not the most masculine guy in the world. At any rate, when we came out to each other, this guy told me he had no clue I was gay. He is slightly younger than I am (late 30s/early 40s) and has just come to terms with his sexuality. I was always curious about him, but as he was married (recently divorced) I figured he was at the very least not open about possibly admitting to gay tendencies. At any rate, this guy is very good looking; however, at the same time that I recognize his physical attractiveness, I know he's not right for me. He's extroverted and projects self-assurance while I'm introverted, sensitive, and, let's just say, open to growth in terms of my self-confidence. He makes me nervous. Is this because I'm attracted to him and trying to suppress it? Or because I'm concerned about getting hurt? What? What is everyone's experience with this? I honestly don't feel like I have romantic feelings for him, but there does seem to be this tension between us. He seems to want to be closer friends (if only to assist him in his coming out), but he drops hints about possibly seeing us as something more. He told his mother about me, and I don't feel like we're that close yet! He seems like the kind of person who moves fast while I'm more the slow, reflective type. Perhaps he's searching for some kind of relationship security as he struggles with his new gay identity. Anyway, I'd appreciate some other views.
Posts You May Be Interested In