Gay Men's Challenges Support Group
This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.
have suffered with clinical anxiety and depression for years. It has been quite a battle and I've had very good success with a combination and medication and therapy (one-on-one and cognitive.)
Usually something in particular triggers an episode, and depending on the circumstance, will last for hours or days... sometimes longer. My anxiety causes me to obsess over issues both real and imaginary. My depression causes me to close myself off from others when I need support the most. It's gotten so bad I've actually planned suicide many times. Usually the thing that stops me from killing myself is the thought of what my death would do to those around me (my partner, my dad, a couple of friends, and especially my son.) Contemplating suicide is usually situational, but as I get older it's harder to recover. At this point it's not so much a matter of wanting to die, but just that I don't want to live anymore. I've really been trying to understand exactly why I think the way I do.
My heath is generally good. I have a job (at least for now.) I have a new grandson. I have a partner who has given up alcohol and stuck with me through the worst of times. So why do I feel like I just want to end it all?
Ive had some recent difficulties with my son. Hes a 19 year old trying to spread his wings with putting little effort into being a responsible person. Hes not bad. Hes just lazy.
Ive put so much emotional energy into raising him that now when he defies me, runs away, and as my partner says knows how to manipulate me I feel crushed. I know I let my emotions rule me and allow them to make me insecure and weak. I know what I should be doing to counteract my negative thoughts, but when things get tough sometimes I just let them override all my sensibilities.
I know if Im not careful, I really will mess up everything.
Usually something in particular triggers an episode, and depending on the circumstance, will last for hours or days... sometimes longer. My anxiety causes me to obsess over issues both real and imaginary. My depression causes me to close myself off from others when I need support the most. It's gotten so bad I've actually planned suicide many times. Usually the thing that stops me from killing myself is the thought of what my death would do to those around me (my partner, my dad, a couple of friends, and especially my son.) Contemplating suicide is usually situational, but as I get older it's harder to recover. At this point it's not so much a matter of wanting to die, but just that I don't want to live anymore. I've really been trying to understand exactly why I think the way I do.
My heath is generally good. I have a job (at least for now.) I have a new grandson. I have a partner who has given up alcohol and stuck with me through the worst of times. So why do I feel like I just want to end it all?
Ive had some recent difficulties with my son. Hes a 19 year old trying to spread his wings with putting little effort into being a responsible person. Hes not bad. Hes just lazy.
Ive put so much emotional energy into raising him that now when he defies me, runs away, and as my partner says knows how to manipulate me I feel crushed. I know I let my emotions rule me and allow them to make me insecure and weak. I know what I should be doing to counteract my negative thoughts, but when things get tough sometimes I just let them override all my sensibilities.
I know if Im not careful, I really will mess up everything.
Don't know if this is helpful, but in my case I just decided to treat my depression as this entity that I cannot describe or give a name, that suddenly appears in my life and attacks. It just comes and goes.
I came to terms with the fact that I never know why or how or what happens that suddenly I feel depressed, so I decided to have a few things I can do to make it go away faster or deal with it, one of them is acknowledging when I feel it. I just experience it, let it be. I have a few things I do, and a few people I trust I can call or talk to about it. That helps, but for some reasons I have the feeling that those bad feelings are never going to go away, so I just decided to let them in my life and deal with them.
Another thing I do is to not make any significant decision when I am depressed. That's never the right mind set for making any important choice, especially around family.
As for your son, I wonder if it's just the signs o the time. This newer generation is known for expecting things to fall on them. It's generation selfie in all the sense of the word. I hope it's not depression too what he feels, or maybe that's how he copes with when you are depressed. It has to be hard to be a cool dad when depressed. He may be reacting to that.
Hope you feel better and teenagers have always been challenging, some more than others, but challenging nonetheless.