i hate to say it but in some situations it's just like that. you have to make a choice. you can #1, do what makes you happy, even if it means making OTHER PEOPLE (like your family and friends) uncomfortable, or you can #2, do what makes everyone else happy, even if it means making YOU uncomfortable. but if you make life decisions based on other people, just know they most likely won't do the same for you. what i'm saying is that, in everybody's life, friends are important to them right? but when people find a significant other, they will put their significant other first NO MATTER WHAT. so to be unhappy and to be with a guy so you can seem straight in order to please your friends is kind of stupid. because while your dedicating your life to their happiness, they're busy forming relationships with people and living life. friends come and go. and one day 10 years from now, when you realized how stupid you've been for living a lie, your friends will be happily married, and you'll see how you come 2nd to them. and then you'll be stuck in a situation where even though you might love your husband, your not inlove with him so you gonna have to get a divorce and break his heart and tell everyone why and yeah, some of them are going to care that your a lesbian at first,, but if they really care about you then they'll eventually get over it and you'll be happily out and ready to start dating! although it will be harder because you'll be older and you'll be like "fuck why didn't i just come out a long time ago? because if i would have then i would have been in the exact same situation that i'm in now except it would have been easier because i would have been younger but now i'm older and all the hot lesbians are taken" Anyways, my point is it's gonna be the same situation weather you come out now or come out down the road. the only difference is the longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be. shit, okay i just re-read you post and found out that you don't even know if your a lesbian or not... so i just wrote all that for nothing haha.... ha. ok well i like where you say that you just look at it as love weather it's a man or a woman but like i said earlier in my response, you might "love" your husband, but you may not be "inlove" with him. so yeah love is love but you also need to think about physical attraction. i mean i know its "what's inside that counts" right? but come one we're all human and weather we admit it or not, looks matter to a certain extent. and if you think about kissing and touching girls then you just might be a lesbian. do you think about kissing and touching guys too? what do you mean when you say you have a "strong connection" with women? k i hope that helped. respond to my responce if you want to talk more about this if not i hope you figure things out good luck!

It is a hard process to go through especially the middle stage of not knowing who you are and all that stuff.. It will eventually get better.. If people truthfully love u they will never let you go... I had the same feeling when I came out to my friends... I was like OMG WAT HAPPENS IF THEY LEAVE ME... I noe the feeling... If they truthfully love you they wont leave your side... and believe me u r gunna feel alot better once you can express yourself in the way you want to be.. Dont let anyone hold you bak.. Add me as a friend if u need to talk more... Have a wonderful day!!

girljock- i think i just can connect better with women that men, like physically, thanks for your advice it really helped alot