Gay & Lesbian Teens Support Group
This community is dedicated to teens that identify as Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender or are questioning their sexual orientation. It's a supportive community where LGBT & questioning teens can give or get advice from their peers or just hang out. Please do not join this community unless you meet the description above. Thanks!
I'm 18 years old and I just graduated from high school. I am attending college soon which is usually where many gay teens begin to see the world in a new light and get away from the high school scene. My parents are not okay with me being gay AT ALL. They have done everything they can so that I can either forget about or, "change". This has been going on since I was 14. It's gotten to the point where we fight almost weekly about the topic and verbally insult each other. I used to feel terrible talking to my parents in such a way but now it doesn't affect me at all. They say that I'm an ungrateful son and that they are much more hopeful with my younger 11 year old sister. I was supposed to go to a university this fall but my admission was revoked this was the worst news I have heard in a while for it meant that I was gonna have to stay at home with my parents for who knows how long now. Not to mention the fact that they were disappointed that I wasn't good enough to get into a university straight out of high school. I plan to go to college for one year and then transfer to an art school to peruse a degree in my passion, music. My parents have talked about not giving me any money so that I can start working and seeing how bad the real world is for someone like me that, "thinks" they're gay. College really scared because I'm not sure how it is that I'm gonna make friends there if people are just trying to get a degree or transfer and move on. So my question is how can I make these next years worth while?
I am an older guy that is a closet gay. So not much in common other than the gay part. However I have a life times experience and I am a parent. I think it may be useful to get a parents view and maybe I can help with some basic advice, which of course you are free to ignore.
Firstly you have to try to make your home life work better for you. From what little you have said there does not seem much point in forcing the issue of you being gay with your parents. You may well be better working towards independence from your home first.
I do not know your parents but it is often the case that time will help. Knowing that they have had 4 years may suggest that they just cannot accept your sexual orientation. I am sorry if this is the case but maybe something you will have to accept, at least for now.
Try not to get involved in fights/arguments with your parents. I find many arguments are unnecessary and the source is actually nothing to do with what is being argued about. I am afraid you may have to be the one to make the effort but it will be worth it in the long run.
Try to keep away from the topic of you being gay, just at home and just to give you a more comfortable living environment. Remember this all about how to make yourself happier.
If you can make life at home more comfortable and less disruptive you can focus on the important job of becoming independent.
How to make the next couple of years count? Make sure you ace your courses. Focus and commit to giving yourself every possible opportunity to become independent. Do not focus on the past. Work at the present with a mind to achieving the future you want. It is worth all the effort to get a life you want to live.
Do not let obstacles be put in your way. No financial assistance from your family? Talk to the college and universities, they have facilities for such cases.
You will make friends in college. People are much more mature and open by that time. Of course people will move on but that does not stop them making friends.
Aim for what you want and go for it! Do not let people or your fears stop you trying.
Hope that helps and good luck.
As for the situation with your family it's important to remember that every situation you're in is temporary and so long as you spend the next few years focusing towards your future and making yourself happy then they're gonna be worthwhile.