Hello as a mum to a 16 year old son,this post is on my own personal opinion.

You say he is really overweight,there comes a time when we can no longer control their food source...If this is surgery your son wants and you feel he fully understands it at 16 I believe my own son would be more than capable of making this choice for himself,I would support him 100%...It's no fun being an over weight teen and much of his life will be spoilt by the things he will be unable to join in with or will lack confidence with..

In all honesty...the long term effects for him are not good (I am only going by how overweight you say he is)

Only you as a family can truly make the descision...but personally ..I would support what he wanted...no one else walks in his shoes and deals with his daily obstacles.

Kayla x

Its so hard, a young person with a weight issue. I know from first hand experience. I have been over weight all my life. For me being overweight as a teenager was the worse time in my entire life. You are looking for so much acceptance from everyone and people are horrible. My heart goes out to you and your son.

Your doctor sounds like a freaking quack, sorry. You are right, he needs to learn how to eat healthy, and its so hard. Have you thought about talking to him about Weight Watchers? I am a huge advocate for Weight Watchers, its real food, you can have anything on it, you just have to stick to the points. You still need to know about nutrition, but thats why the meetings are so informative. With Weight Watchers the entire family could eat that food so he wont feel like a freak, or be centered out in his own home. God knows we are centered out enough without feeling horrible in our own home.

I know for me personally I really dont know had I had weight lost surgery as a teenager if I would have been mature enough or disciplined enough for it. As a mom I would try everything before surgery for my child. . However Im not a dr, but again what your dr said was ludicrous. Maybe try a dietician, they will teach him all kinds of things with food. There really are so many great recipes that are healthy and taste great, but Im also sounding like a hypocrite, I had GBS, however in my defence it was my last chance so to speak.

Good luck to you and your son.

Dianne :)

We don't want the surgery. He doesn't want the surgery. We just want what is best for him. Yes, this doctor has pushed all my buttons. My son is in pain and feels so bad and all he can talk about is how overweight he is. He's always been a big boy. He says he never feels full he just gets tired of eating. I've mentioned that to several doctors. I think he is an emotional eater and he does not handle emotions well. He started out at 360 lbs when he started having these pain attacks and he know weighs 340. He is about 5'10". A couple of years ago he went to WW with my sister. I wasn't concerned about him keeping up with the points at that time but to be educated on food and what he was putting in his body. He refused to even try it after a couple of meetings. There for a while I stayed on him about his weight and that made things worse. Now we just calmly talk about the dangers of being overweight and what kinds of food are best. It seems to go in one ear and out the other. To me it doesn't seem like he really cares if he loses weight or not. That really scares me.

None of us here are skinny by no means. His father and I both really need to lose weight too. But he is my oldest baby and that makes the issue much different.

I do feel for you as...we truly want different things for our children..I do have some understanding of how you feel..my 18 year old daughter is 268lbs at 5ft 7"...I joined WW with her and paid..joined her and me to a gym and paid....She has gained most of this weight since about 16...I feel helpless..I laso worry but have realised the wanting has to come from her to lose the weight in the first place..much like your son..they have to want it..otherwise we are just rendered useless...

I can hear the torture you are feeling in your post...But all you can do is try to educate him...At the end of the day you can take a horse to water but can't make them drink....

Keep coming on here for support...Maybe go to the doc's on your own to discuss things.. Much Love...From another mummy x

This sounds harsh, but what about just not buying anything unless its healthy? Stop buying juice if you do, only have water on hand. Buy skim milk only. No cookies, chips bars of any kind, even the ones they say are high fiber. No processed cheese, no canned spagetti or any of those type things.

I would bet he doesn't like fruit (I know I never did) but try some new stuff maybe. You know what fruit is delicious, a Pomegranate messy, but so sweet. Both my kids love them.

My son was a very chunky boy, I worried about him but never harped on him. I was trying to do the total opposite of what was said and done to me. Pre teen he wanted to lose weight, he brought it up to me, he asked if I would help him. I stoped buying juice and told him at dinner not to have seconds, well he listened because he wanted to lose weight before going to high school. It worked for him, he is now 21 and never lets himslef get over 220, I told him at about 18 that should be his high and stick to it unless he wants to look like me. My daughter I am trying the same logic, but I don't think she cares, she is 11 1/2 and she can eat. Since my surgery she has lost 4 lbs. Not tones of weight but its going in the right direction. The reasson being is nothing high fat comes into the house anymore. I am cooking so much less at dinner so she cannot have seconds.

Last night I asked her if she would like to join Weight Watchers, I said I just wanted her to learn how to eat healthy. She said sure, so hopefuly she can get into it. I told her that I think she is perfect like she is, just want her to be informed on healthy eating. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I totaly agree with Kayla, your son will need to want to do it. However who ever does the shopping can chose to bring in the food they want, lol..

Good luck, keep us posted...

Dianne :)

I ment to tell ya too. There is a great eating plan, its called the Dtour Diet, it's learning to out smart Diabetes. I found this one easy to stick to, however my issues were not sicking to it long enough.

You get to eat 6 samll meals a day, great recipes. I had a magazine that I got it from but there is lots of stuff online about it. I bet you can get the book as well if you wanted to.

Just wanted to put that out there, again good luck.

Dianne :)

I am and next summer you will see my journey with obesity on ABC's 20/20. You will also see my mother teling the world that "if LIsa was 15 and was able to have this surgery knowing everything that comes along with it I would fully support her." My whole family battles with obesity and I am the third to have the gastric bypass and be successful.

The one thing I hated most being an overweight teen was people ponting out to me I was an overweight teen. I just kept thinking "I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!" but the want, desire, need and compassion for finally saying enough is enough and I need to change my life has to come from within oneself.

I went to therapists and cried from being ashamed knowing I was an overeater and thats what my problem was..... I even tried to get into a clinic for people who were overeaters......at $1250.00 a day not covered by insurance I obviously had to take a new route. It took me a good 18 months from the time i said to myself "i dont need surgery/I dont want surgery to finally saying...I need a tool/help and I know this can help me. and I know this is OK and what I want!"...........

A lot of the surgery (band or bypass) has to do with the mind set of the person going through it. If the person thinks its a quick fix..boy are they wrong. There are pills you must take every day, you MUST listen to your body when it "screams" I am full!! (just after two bites). I knew this was for me because of all the research I did and how I prepared myelf mentally.........I need to eat to live NOT LIVE TO EAT.

Your son is lucky to have a mother who is so concerned and asking for advice from others......it means a lot coming from a child who also had a concerned mother but a mother who no matter what always supported me in what i did.

I think if you made some changed around the house..."get healthy as a whole family" then that might be a good first baby step...... if you dont have junk foods and sweets readily available he will have to make an effort to get it somewhere else and maybe it will click to him..............

Just dont forget every person is different and sensitive in different ways...... I wish the best for him and you.

XOXO

One of boys was a bit over weight for few years also, he is now 14 and lost over 40 lbs and is in basketball and loving being healthy, I just stopped buying pop, chips, juice junk food, sugary cereals pop tarts and lots of othe things, we started making low fat healthy meals with fruit, veggie, starch, meat, and he learned to eat healthy and after a while, he did not even ask for the junk anymore,and started being more active becuase he was getting more energy from the healthy foods he was eating, he coaches me now if I start to eat something he does not think I should have. LOL.. I know its hard, especially when its out children.

I really appreciate all the comments. We live in rural KY. He is 100% country boy. He loves to hunt, I think that helps. His grandmother passed away back in the fall. Her dying wish was for my boys to have four-wheelers. I wasn't thrilled with that but before he got sick he stayed out on the four wheeler and wasn't in here all the time and was happy! He mostly drinks water. If he drinks soft drink they are diet. He was going to MMA classes and hurt his knee. He is still having problems with that. The gym owner (it is a very small gym) worked with my husband and he wants him to come in use the equipment when he feels better.