Hi Dragondebbie,

Welcome and congratulations on choosing to make this life change! Im glad you found us. I wanted to take my time and am going to address each point youve brought up separately.

1. My fear is first the weight wont come off. With the gastric bypass, the weight will melt off in no time if you follow your program. This is the factual function of the gastric bypass surgery.

2. I don't want be one of the 5 percent who put the weight back on otherwise all this was for not. A big part of success in this journey is changing our Focus and our thinking. To change our thinking we have to change our Focus from the negative to the positive. Instead of focusing on the 5%, focus on being one of the 95% successful. Holding strong with our focus is what helps us to succeed.

3. I know I look like crap being fat person but with all the loss skin I will have with my stomach I will still look like crap. The reality of loose skin is a part of this journey, and unless you plan on getting repair work done, you will have to learn how to change how your think about your body. Again, Focus. If you focus on feeling like crap before and again after, then that is what you will get. You probably already know the saying, change your thinking, change your life, but hopefully this reminds you of the importance of how we focus our thinking. Counseling and working with body image is a crucial part of our journey. I know people who have had very successful repair work and some who have had horrible experiences. Even with a successful repair job, you still have to work on your body image issues. Remember, you are not your body. You live in your body. I knew all through my shedding process that I wouldnt and didnt want to get any reconstruction work. I actively worked on my body image issues and am for the most part just fine with my baggie skin suit. Personally, I think my baggie skin suit is better than the fat suit ever was. Loose skin is simply a reality with gastric surgery. You have to choose between fat, loose skin, reconstruction, or learning to love your new body along the way. It is a daily choice on what we say to ourselves when we look in the mirror. Do we speak with love or do we abuse that person we see daily in the mirror. Doing mirror work can change everything along the way. You are worth loving yourself! You are enough!

4. If a man wont date me fat how will he ever want me with all this skin hanging? Then you dont want him, period. He wouldnt be good enough for you anyway. Never settle! You want someone who will love you no matter what! You are worth being loved!

5. I have no family and no friends to speak of, so support is something I don't have in my life right now. You have come to the right place for support. We will help you and you will find like-minded people here to relate to. Keep coming back, ask questions, participate in the posts, and you will begin to find people to share your journey with. I have known some of these people for over 5 years of coming here and it is wonderful knowing we have this kind of support.

6. Glad you are seeing a doctor for the mental pictures because those pictures become our realities. Find positive pictures that give you a vision of where you want to go. I had a painting I did years previous to surgery of shedding my fat suit as if I shed a coat. My little arms are raised in freedom and there was a puddle of fat at my feet. I didnt realize until after I had shed the weight that there was also a butterfly in the air. 5 years later, I still keep a photo of that painting on my refrigerator.

I hope this helps! Change your focus, change your life!

Ditto to all that Lcat4 told you. She is so totally grounded and gives the best advice with five years of experience behind her. My advice is to get out of the negative mood you are in. If you carry on With all those negative ideas they become true. All of those thought have put you where you are now. You are able to makes the changes, let's be successful just like 95% of the people are. You following your doctors orders to the letter, don't try to get a head of those orders. We will never eat like we did before and that is wonderful. The best on your journey, don't listen to some of the whining you may hear on the site. Just positive, we can find something wrong in ever situation, we can find something wonderful in the same situation. It is your choose which you pick. I am putting my money that you will pick the positive. You are ready and capable of picking the right. Good luck, I am with you on your wonderful journey.

Welcome. When I had the surgery, I was living on my own and had few friends nearby (I worked a lot). I found the support I needed right here, and more than five years later, I still do. You will get great support here in this group.

I don't want to repeat everything that lcat said, as she gives great advice. I do want to say that there are foundation garments that you can wear (Spanx, etc.) and those will give you some confidence. As to the removal of excess skin--I didn't have it done since there was no man in my life (and still isn't) so it wasn't an issue.

If you do decide to have it removed at some point in the future (usually two years PO), there are options. I know that some people have gone to Mexico or Costa Rica for the plastic surgeries. You also can use Care Credit to charge it and make payments on it over time. Also, in some cases, if the excess skin causes skin rashes, some insurances WILL cover it. So don't stress over that right now.

You'll be well occupied learning to deal with your emotional eating (we all do it) and finding healthier ways to deal during the first two years.

But finally, congratulations! You are starting on a wonderful healing journey. When I told my PCP that I was going to have the surgery, he was elated and told me that it would change everything. He was right. My life is completely transformed, I am healthier and happier now than I had been for decades before GBS.

So chin up! It's going to be good. :)

Thank you ! I will stay positive and keep everyone posted