Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group
Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight in the form of fatty tissue, and the health problems ("co-morbidities") which result. If you are considering gastric bypass or have had it, join the community where we share our experiences and find support.
**warning** this post will be long winded and ramble I have not posted one of my ramblings in a long while, bout time I did!
I am a few days shy of 7 months post op I have lost 105 lbs since a year ago January. Its been an amazing, truly amazing 7 months. Those of you whove been a part of the DS family for a while, probably know my ups and downs well.
I would do this again in a heartbeat. Heck, in half a heartbeat!
I also struggle Every. Single. Day. And it is WORK Every. Single. Day.
As it should be, each of us has our own journey and our own experiences. What works for me, might not work for you. What is hard for me might not be hard for you So nothing I say here is anything but from my own experience however, I bet I will say things that touch a cord in some of you. If not today, one day
The emotional head work we must do has truly been (just as I was warned) the hardest part. Its been hard in every stage of my journey and I imagine that will continue for the rest of my life
I am 53 years old and have used food to cope for the majority of these years. Heck, when I was in 1st grade Id get home from school and my mother (with all the love in the world), helped me celebrate my day with cookies and milk and when my day was lousy, cookies and milk My father was Mexican, so we always always had refried beans and homemade flour tortillas on the stove ALWAYS! I was taught young they were like band-aids for my hurts. Even more so than cookies and milk!
So, as you can imagine (or have experienced in some form yourself) as the years came and went, food was where I turned
Re-learning how to do this deal and find healthy coping tools has been hard Lets face it, often old habits die hard. For some, everything changes when they decide to have surgery, and they never look back to their old ways I think these people are few and far between but maybe I am wrong, just speculation on my part.
I find I have days when I am an emotional train wreck. I think the further into this I get, the more this happens Maybe because I am now feeling stuff! And I dont know how to feel the things I feel, and often dont know what I am feeling Sometimes it takes me several days to figure it out. Sometimes I am all over the place with labeling my feelings. But I keep working at it.
In the past, I use to get stressed, as we all do but within a very short time I thought I got a handle on it what I was doing was eating it away and stuffing my stress deep inside.
Ive tried to eat away the stress since surgery when old habits kicked in and just ended up sick and miserable. Not proud of this, but it is true and its not like I decided to let my old ways take over, its like they just did. Sometimes I dont even realize I am doing it till its done
But I am a work in progress and am learning to find new ways to cope. One of those ways is to try and name what I am feeling. If you google pdf emotions list you find some pretty cool lists out there of different types of emotions. We are used to the normal, angry, sad, happy types, but there are tons more that are helpful to name whats going on inside our heads (here is a list of emotions I posted in my Journal: http://www.dailystrength.org/people/2341101/journal)
Some of the weird stuff Ive been dealing with lately is my emotions over my hair yeah, its pretty bad. Most days I can cope just fine but on occasion, not so much I know (I KNOW) my hair does not define me and that in the big scheme of things yada yada but it still sucks to have so little and sometimes I see myself in the mirror and I cry. Ill get over it It (hopefully) will come back or it wont but I will not let the lack of hair take me down I have been told so many times now Just get a wig that I swear if I hear that one more time I will choke someone! LOL! ***SIGH*** It is what it is but that does not mean I dont FEEL stuff because of it and I have to FEEL it, not EAT it So, here I am feeling it.
Another one is that I physically feel awesome!! Great, right? Sure it is! Dont think for a moment I am saying feeling awesome in not worth every single hurdle But sometimes I look in the mirror and see an old woman! And I think, dang I feel like I should look better than that!? Yeah, this is weird and I am oh so happy I dont feel as old as I look! Ha ha ha! But there is some weird emotions going on around this Ive not quite figured it out yet. I am thinking its a catch up sorta thing! Sometimes its like I think I should look thinner because I feel thinner, other times its like I still feel fatter and am surprised I am not Sure, I know some of you will look over at my picture and say But Becca, you look great! Lets be real here that is a picture of me on a good day! That picture was taken after I have spruced up to go out. Most days, I am run ragged from work, working out, classes, volunteering, and have been walking in the rain I am NOT posing for a picture to impress myself or all of you with I am just me. And some days, I am not impressed with how I look. This is so hard to explain I guess, just maybe, I was hoping Id end up 34 again Yeah, of course I know/knew better but I am also human, and have crazy dreams that are not reality Ill leave this one be because I do not know how to explain it better, so Ill just quit trying!
My current diet Hummmmm. My thoughts here are do not let anyone tell you there is only one way to do this deal. Some of us can eat bread, some will and shouldnt, and some never will again. Some will struggle forever more to get in their protein and vitamins, some wont Some will only eat 600 calories a day; some will eat 1200 who should only eat 1000, or who should eat 1500. On and on it goes We are not cookie cutter WLS people It is awesome we learn from others what works for them, and often this information is helpful. But its like any other advice, we take what we can use, and leave the rest.
I was stalled for 6 weeks. No biggie I was doing ok with it I had lost 100 lbs and I knew the drill, stalls happen. Then I went for my 6 month checkup and was told to eat more. Eat more calories, eat more carbs. I now eat 1200 calories a day and 100 to 120 carbs per day And you know what? In less than 3 weeks I lost 5 more pounds! It is working for me Does that mean you should do this? I dont have the answer to that. All I know is it works for me. And as long as it does, it is what I will do. I have had people (not from here) tell me right out that I was nuts and by eating that much calories and carbs, it will NEVER EVER work! Maybe it does not work for them, but it works for me at least today. Tomorrow? Who knows, but today it works. And if tomorrow it quits working, then I adjust my sails
You know that saying Eat to live, dont live to eat! I love this saying and I believe in it. I also enjoy food still, and at first I was bummed out by that. I wanted to be one of those who no longer found joy or pleasure in eating. And if you are like that, and its working for you, then wonderful! Your way is your way as I said, what works for one, might not be the way for another. Now for me though, I think that finding pleasure in food is a wonderful thing. As long as its for the right reasons, if a bite into a juicy, well-cooked steak makes me go ummmmmmmm and roll my eyes back, why should I feel bad for this pleasure? I dont feel bad when I smell a rose, or hug a baby, or any of those other wonderful pleasures of life, why this? What I am learning to change is to stuff food into my face as a way to numb the emotions raging thru my body In fact, I enjoy food so much that if it means I keep a few extra pounds on my body, I am ok with that! I like curves, and so does my man I plan on enjoying this life I have re-discovered, no hair, extra wrinkles, and nice, healthy curves
What keeps me going is remembering this is about progress, not perfection! :)
Thank you for listening to my forever crazy ramblings!
I wish for each of you a crazy, wonderful, exciting, and educational as well as turbulent journey! For without turbulence we wont grow or appreciate the calm
I am a few days shy of 7 months post op I have lost 105 lbs since a year ago January. Its been an amazing, truly amazing 7 months. Those of you whove been a part of the DS family for a while, probably know my ups and downs well.
I would do this again in a heartbeat. Heck, in half a heartbeat!
I also struggle Every. Single. Day. And it is WORK Every. Single. Day.
As it should be, each of us has our own journey and our own experiences. What works for me, might not work for you. What is hard for me might not be hard for you So nothing I say here is anything but from my own experience however, I bet I will say things that touch a cord in some of you. If not today, one day
The emotional head work we must do has truly been (just as I was warned) the hardest part. Its been hard in every stage of my journey and I imagine that will continue for the rest of my life
I am 53 years old and have used food to cope for the majority of these years. Heck, when I was in 1st grade Id get home from school and my mother (with all the love in the world), helped me celebrate my day with cookies and milk and when my day was lousy, cookies and milk My father was Mexican, so we always always had refried beans and homemade flour tortillas on the stove ALWAYS! I was taught young they were like band-aids for my hurts. Even more so than cookies and milk!
So, as you can imagine (or have experienced in some form yourself) as the years came and went, food was where I turned
Re-learning how to do this deal and find healthy coping tools has been hard Lets face it, often old habits die hard. For some, everything changes when they decide to have surgery, and they never look back to their old ways I think these people are few and far between but maybe I am wrong, just speculation on my part.
I find I have days when I am an emotional train wreck. I think the further into this I get, the more this happens Maybe because I am now feeling stuff! And I dont know how to feel the things I feel, and often dont know what I am feeling Sometimes it takes me several days to figure it out. Sometimes I am all over the place with labeling my feelings. But I keep working at it.
In the past, I use to get stressed, as we all do but within a very short time I thought I got a handle on it what I was doing was eating it away and stuffing my stress deep inside.
Ive tried to eat away the stress since surgery when old habits kicked in and just ended up sick and miserable. Not proud of this, but it is true and its not like I decided to let my old ways take over, its like they just did. Sometimes I dont even realize I am doing it till its done
But I am a work in progress and am learning to find new ways to cope. One of those ways is to try and name what I am feeling. If you google pdf emotions list you find some pretty cool lists out there of different types of emotions. We are used to the normal, angry, sad, happy types, but there are tons more that are helpful to name whats going on inside our heads (here is a list of emotions I posted in my Journal: http://www.dailystrength.org/people/2341101/journal)
Some of the weird stuff Ive been dealing with lately is my emotions over my hair yeah, its pretty bad. Most days I can cope just fine but on occasion, not so much I know (I KNOW) my hair does not define me and that in the big scheme of things yada yada but it still sucks to have so little and sometimes I see myself in the mirror and I cry. Ill get over it It (hopefully) will come back or it wont but I will not let the lack of hair take me down I have been told so many times now Just get a wig that I swear if I hear that one more time I will choke someone! LOL! ***SIGH*** It is what it is but that does not mean I dont FEEL stuff because of it and I have to FEEL it, not EAT it So, here I am feeling it.
Another one is that I physically feel awesome!! Great, right? Sure it is! Dont think for a moment I am saying feeling awesome in not worth every single hurdle But sometimes I look in the mirror and see an old woman! And I think, dang I feel like I should look better than that!? Yeah, this is weird and I am oh so happy I dont feel as old as I look! Ha ha ha! But there is some weird emotions going on around this Ive not quite figured it out yet. I am thinking its a catch up sorta thing! Sometimes its like I think I should look thinner because I feel thinner, other times its like I still feel fatter and am surprised I am not Sure, I know some of you will look over at my picture and say But Becca, you look great! Lets be real here that is a picture of me on a good day! That picture was taken after I have spruced up to go out. Most days, I am run ragged from work, working out, classes, volunteering, and have been walking in the rain I am NOT posing for a picture to impress myself or all of you with I am just me. And some days, I am not impressed with how I look. This is so hard to explain I guess, just maybe, I was hoping Id end up 34 again Yeah, of course I know/knew better but I am also human, and have crazy dreams that are not reality Ill leave this one be because I do not know how to explain it better, so Ill just quit trying!
My current diet Hummmmm. My thoughts here are do not let anyone tell you there is only one way to do this deal. Some of us can eat bread, some will and shouldnt, and some never will again. Some will struggle forever more to get in their protein and vitamins, some wont Some will only eat 600 calories a day; some will eat 1200 who should only eat 1000, or who should eat 1500. On and on it goes We are not cookie cutter WLS people It is awesome we learn from others what works for them, and often this information is helpful. But its like any other advice, we take what we can use, and leave the rest.
I was stalled for 6 weeks. No biggie I was doing ok with it I had lost 100 lbs and I knew the drill, stalls happen. Then I went for my 6 month checkup and was told to eat more. Eat more calories, eat more carbs. I now eat 1200 calories a day and 100 to 120 carbs per day And you know what? In less than 3 weeks I lost 5 more pounds! It is working for me Does that mean you should do this? I dont have the answer to that. All I know is it works for me. And as long as it does, it is what I will do. I have had people (not from here) tell me right out that I was nuts and by eating that much calories and carbs, it will NEVER EVER work! Maybe it does not work for them, but it works for me at least today. Tomorrow? Who knows, but today it works. And if tomorrow it quits working, then I adjust my sails
You know that saying Eat to live, dont live to eat! I love this saying and I believe in it. I also enjoy food still, and at first I was bummed out by that. I wanted to be one of those who no longer found joy or pleasure in eating. And if you are like that, and its working for you, then wonderful! Your way is your way as I said, what works for one, might not be the way for another. Now for me though, I think that finding pleasure in food is a wonderful thing. As long as its for the right reasons, if a bite into a juicy, well-cooked steak makes me go ummmmmmmm and roll my eyes back, why should I feel bad for this pleasure? I dont feel bad when I smell a rose, or hug a baby, or any of those other wonderful pleasures of life, why this? What I am learning to change is to stuff food into my face as a way to numb the emotions raging thru my body In fact, I enjoy food so much that if it means I keep a few extra pounds on my body, I am ok with that! I like curves, and so does my man I plan on enjoying this life I have re-discovered, no hair, extra wrinkles, and nice, healthy curves
What keeps me going is remembering this is about progress, not perfection! :)
Thank you for listening to my forever crazy ramblings!
I wish for each of you a crazy, wonderful, exciting, and educational as well as turbulent journey! For without turbulence we wont grow or appreciate the calm
I too am/was an emotional eater. Comfort food galore. My Mom was from Kansas so I was raised with high sugar cereals, creamed potato and peas, thick meaty stews, hamburger gravy (basically ground burger meet in gravy poured over potatoes), and chicken fried steak an gravy. There is no disappointment that couldn't be resolved by bread, or anything in bread.
I'm scared to death to go back to that, but I'm 6 weeks out and for the first time yesterday I was hungry. Weird feeling after not feeling anything for 6 weeks. That scared me too.
Food is an addiction for me, it used to resolve all of my problems until it became my problem.
All I can say is - we're a work in progress. Stay strong and try not to be so hard on yourself. Look at all that you have given to us pre-bies and post-ies.
There are many times when I'm hit with emotions or head hunger and because of you and your posts, I'm able to say to myself, "This is what Becca was talking about." So I cry or laugh, depending, and then dust myself off and continue on, and keep your words in my head...
Thanks!
You are looking Fantastic! Keep it up you are doing very well!
Progress not Perfection is my motto!!
Linda
I'm 54 years old now, 3 years out of surgery this month, lost 125 the first year, and been maintaining it, while dropping more clothing sizes in the last 2 years. I just now started losing again.
You're so honest and open with your feelings and struggles. What a gift to others sharing the journey.
Ashamed to say I haven't been active here for a v--e---r---y long time, but it's good to swing by once in a while, remember the journey, and realize how far I've come.
Thank you for sharing, and keep on keeping on. You'll come through better and stronger than ever. By the way, some of the wrinkles will go away, I promise. Just keep moisturized and out of the sun. :)
(((HUGS))) :-)