Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group

Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight in the form of fatty tissue, and the health problems ("co-morbidities") which result. If you are considering gastric bypass or have had it, join the community where we share our experiences and find support.

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becca1960 09/17/2013

So.... Here I go again, thinking way too much! I still have lots to lose... and I am ok with this because I am enjoying EVERY DAY in this journey!! But I gotta ask... Is it me or is it them?

Yesterday I was walking around campus and the neighboring streets... And I got so many smiles, nods, and hellos from male passer-byes! Way more than I've gotten in quite some time! (It was nice and I enjoyed it for sure!)

Is it me and how I carry myself now? Because yeah sure, I look better than I did before... Yet am still obese for sure! And on a University campus, believe me... "Hottie!" I am not... And no, I am not bashing myself here... I am 53 and can no longer compete in this "Hottie" category of all the 20 somethings on a University campus (as it should be)... I mean come on, even I have to take notice of the "Hotties" once in a while! LOL!

Now I do notice that the majority of the men who take notice the most are closer to my age (which is as it should be, I mean I have sons older than most of the students! ha ha!)... but even the younger ones are friendlier and more smiley and just see me now!

Maybe I am losing my invisibility that fatness brings with it...? Maybe I carry myself with more confidence now which makes me more noticeable...

What are your thoughts???

bouvier 09/17/2013

I think it is a combination of both. You are getting more and more confident (as am I) and people notice you more. I do believe that weight discrimination is the last acceptable form of discrimination. If you are up for a promotion at work and so is a thinner person, I think the thinner person gets it more often than not. I was actually told this at a former job. Since I was over weight, they thought I had no self control. I was, however, the most organized person in that office!! I also think that people don't want to see overweight people and I wonder if it is because they don't want it "rubbing off" on them! So, keep building that confidence and enjoying those whistles!! Your new picture is GREAT!

deleted_user 09/17/2013

Oh Becca- you are so cute. Yes it's a bit of both. You are more confident and it shows, and you are probably walking with a little more sass :)

I just got back from my walk and realized how incredibly different my posture is. Instead of slumping I walk with my head held high and a bounce in my step. I have been getting honked at by pick-up trucks lately and STILL look around to see who they might be intended for :) It takes a while to get used to being noticed...

rubymama 09/17/2013

It's the confidence! Confidence is attractive!

Since day 1 post-op, I have walked around with a huge smile on my face--I just feel so good about myself now. I think that is attractive! I also feel taller. I'm already tall--5'10-1/2"--and yet I'm so aware now that I walked slumped over before. Now my head is held high. I feel taller than ever.

Good for you!!

goldenrivers 09/17/2013

I know I have found my smile again. 5 months ago I ducked my head and just hope nobody looked at me, now I will make eye contact as I am no longer a failure. .)

Merrymay19 09/17/2013

People react to you, simple as. The more confident you are, the straighter you stand and the more eye contact you're willing to make. I used to run from place to place, head down and back hunched. No attention then from anyone. Most people are friendly, so when you make the effort to smile at them they smile back. When you walk tall and look around people will feel your confidence and respond. :) Plus you looking so good now helps for sure ;)

No one ever wants to be completely invisible, it's terribly lonely. Down with the fatness invisibility and on with the smiles! :D

deleted_user 09/17/2013

Maybe, just maybe....you are happier and smiling more and it is just contagious. Let your self be a "hottie" and just stroll on by with a great smile.

SgtSmith 09/17/2013

I never was a popular person but I was never shy either. I didn't really notice a lot of changes like that. I have had an awful lot of people comment on my weight loss and have had several take down the information about my doctor. It's like I am a walking commercail! I could sell this stuff door to door!
I have noticed a few young guys checkin out the machines I work out on at the gym to see how much the "old fart" is lifting! LOL! I enjoyed that.

KatLin 09/17/2013

I can honestly say in my case people are uncomfortable when you are obese. I'm talking 300lb size now was my case. I felt so exposed in those days and the truth is people could pass right in front of me and not see me or would avoid me because no one wants to have to get near the super big person.......they weren't that nice about the names though.

I know in my case I am not more confident. My fears are all the same so my body language still says stay away. If you must talk to me stay at a distance and do not expect much but shaking and quivering in my voice and sheer panic in my eyes when I get trapped in a door going in or out of a facility. lol kind of funny the reality of when were seen and when were not vs our beliefs.

I actually had a woman "bully" me at the apartment ive lived in for 5 years because she thought I was new as a large woman she never said boo.

so my experience is simply I got small and people think it now gives them license to step over the boundaries I had when I was obese. f

becca1960 09/17/2013

This is such an amazing journey and so individualized for each of us!

I can tell I am more confident already. Not that I lacked a lot in that department over the years, but when I gained the 50+ lbs last fall and was quickly losing my mobility, my confidence wavered....

I do think that often, people who don't even mean to be unkind, do not know how to react to really large people, (and I do think its more acceptable to be a fat man than a fat woman... Not saying its easy for the guys at all, but still more socially acceptable). But I think for some people, its a lack of knowing what to do, how to act, be, talk to, the really fat person, so they just don't... (or something like that.. Not sure I'm explaining what I am thinking!)

Anyways... I do agree, it is a bunch of different things... and I also know, for me, I like feeling like I am an active participant in the world again! I am excited to start classes on the 30th and feel more normal! :) :)

deleted_user 09/18/2013

It is odd to figure out... I know I am much more confident... I smile more, and react to others more... I don't walk with my head down anymore... And I have a feeling you are very similar...

Enjoy these new feelings.. I know I do... I am a people person and I love the interaction...

I think it is sad, but I have come to realize I was a big part of the blame.. I didnt' reach out as much when I was heavy...

Boo1962 09/18/2013

I think it's confidence, and I had something happen to me, at the State Fair, even at my weight

WE had found a band, while walking the midway, and they were soooo good!! I was in an electric scooter, and "chair dancing, and smiling, and having a great time watching and listening, and I was singing, with a big smile on my face, feeling very happy and comfy."..

This guy about my age or younger, kept smiling at me, and trying to talk to me, LOL!! I told my gf, "He's flirting with me", and she said, "OH, he's drunk"...

But the case was, he was FLIRTING, and I was having such a great time, just being me..and I think my mood was contagious!!

Drunk or not, he flirted, LOL! And even at my pre-op weight, it felt good!

(down 11 pounds now on partial liquid, doing great)!!

Boo

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