Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group
Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight in the form of fatty tissue, and the health problems ("co-morbidities") which result. If you are considering gastric bypass or have had it, join the community where we share our experiences and find support.
Okay I tried but with everything going on in the past couple of weeks I was truly fooling myself to think that it wouldn't happen to me. I completely flipped off the protein diet today. I am hoping that I didn't completely mess myself up. I took my vitamins and then sat in a chair all day trying to focus on getting some work done and got absolutely nothing accomplished.
I talked to my mother heard the hurt in her voice because my troll of a sister was right there in town and only visited for 5 minutes last night. Mom played it off like it didn't matter but hiding the pain, she is not good at.
My mind is all over the place, my focus is gone, my heart is heavy because I am not with my mother and everybody around me are acting like a bunch of selfish jerks and I'm fighting with everything in me not to scream and never stop.
So how much damage do you think I did to myself by deviating from my plan I have no way of knowing. I didn't eat overeat in fact I haven't eaten all day and I have no desire to. . I don't have an appetite and all i want to do is curl up in a ball with my head under the covers. This is all so typical, chaos and everything hitting the fan at one time - can someone stop this merry-go-round, I want to get off, NOW!!!!
I talked to my mother heard the hurt in her voice because my troll of a sister was right there in town and only visited for 5 minutes last night. Mom played it off like it didn't matter but hiding the pain, she is not good at.
My mind is all over the place, my focus is gone, my heart is heavy because I am not with my mother and everybody around me are acting like a bunch of selfish jerks and I'm fighting with everything in me not to scream and never stop.
So how much damage do you think I did to myself by deviating from my plan I have no way of knowing. I didn't eat overeat in fact I haven't eaten all day and I have no desire to. . I don't have an appetite and all i want to do is curl up in a ball with my head under the covers. This is all so typical, chaos and everything hitting the fan at one time - can someone stop this merry-go-round, I want to get off, NOW!!!!
Peace and blessings sister, girl.
hang in there sunshine, there's a silver lining coming your way :)
prayers are with you
T
You cannot harm yourself over the long haul by an occasional day of crazy. It's the long-term perisistence at going back to the right path that will shape your weight future, just as it does your faith walk. Yes, you are crazy with worry and frustration that no one else is doing for your mother what you would do...but remember God is there with her too. He can hold and keep her like no one else. "I know the plans I have for you,says the Lord, plans to prosper and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". We don't always know the plans He has, so we worry, but He knows and he is trying to tell us "I've got this! Just stick close to me, I'm the one with the plan!"
So...blessings to you and your mom. Hold tight to that promise and let Him cradle you in His arms while you have to be apart from her.
Yes I am concerned about my mother and not being able to be there this time, but the real struggle is letting go and the guilt i feel of finally putting me first. I don't know if that is something anyone else can comprehend or relate to but I was in a fight with myself all day.
Making the conscious decision to stay on track with this weight loss journey and not run every time situations occur in my family is new to me. Unchartered territory and i feel like i am letting them down, but i'm not i'm just taking care of me, FINALLY!!!! So why the guilt?
I have the money, it is not finances this time it is more a test of my own strength to stay on point for myself and my emotions were all over the place with thoughts like, what if something happens and I didn't go, what if I go and the doctors call and say I have to do xyz but i am out of town. Do i take care of my mom, or do i take care of me. And yes, what is everyone going to think of me if i don't show up to take care of her like i always do. I know I sound like a complete nut but the Tami who use to put everybody else first is having a difficult time right now putting me first.
Any who I made it through the day literally sitting on my hands holding my breathing talking myself out of it the whole day. I must have called her 5 times and each time i cried - she said go ahead with your plans for your surgery and all I heard was I need you. I finally told my conscious to shut the hell up about an hour ago so I am going to watch another movie or let it watch me, pray and go to bed.
In my heart i know my decision not to go and trust God and my nc family to watch over her is the right choice - my auntie said "Tami Lynn Hepbourn don't you come down here, your mama is going to be okay" and yes she did call out my whole government (name) as we refer to it in New York lol, so I guess whether i make peace with it or not - going now would be like admitting to my Aunt that I don't trust them to take care of my mom. I may be off kilter but i am not crazy to challenge my aunts authority. Thanks again for listening to the crazy rantings of an anxiety driven woman, I'll be okay because I have to be.
I so understand your delemia..but it sounds like you have some type of people in your corner helping for the moment...take advantage and take care of you so you can continue to care for others :)
Whatever you decide you have my understanding and support and prayers... maxine