I wish there was an edit feature, because I'd swap out

"fail"

with

"Experience a substantial regain"

"BUT eating to cope, numb, hide, punish, avoid, etc etc etc... Will take me right back where I was. Morbidly obese and miserable. As long as we feed our emotions vs nourish our bodies, we're skirting disaster! Yet, learning how to NOT do these things is the hardest personal growth thing I have ever struggled with. Every. Single. Day".

Well said Becca!!!

Year 3 was the hardest for me. When I went back to college, the further I went, the more stressed I became. Balancing work, college, home, and the pressures of being the only one working for a while just plowed me under. We never stop having to pay attention to "feed(ing) our emotions vs nourish(ing) our bodies". I was not nourishing my body as well as I could have. Unfortunately stress also plays a huge factor in weight issues. There is a ton of information online about the association with weight and stress. I certainly ate my stress for a while, and since I have finished college my body is shedding the weight I picked up. Just eliminating the stress can cause the body to shed weight.

Chronic stress activates our fight or flight system which can lead to cravings, anxiety, depression, and even more stress. It is a nasty cycle that perpetuates more stress. Stress is now known to be directly related to belly fat. Our thoughts about our daily lives and our emotions contribute significantly to our stress. It starts in our mind and our body responds. The physiological fight or flight response is our body's automatic response to any potential threat to our survival. Distressing experiences and long term stress can activate the fight or flight response of the sympathetic nervous system which controls involuntary functions like primitive emergency responses. When stress occurs the hypothalamus, which helps the body to maintain balance, responds and triggers the amygdala, the pituitary gland, and the adrenal glands. The amygdala acts like an early warning system to report any threat, and the pituitary and adrenal glands then produce hormones to support the fight or flight response. Adrenaline is released, muscles become tense, blood pressure, blood sugar, and the heart rate all rise to the occasion to meet the threat. Cortisol which is produced by the adrenal glands in times of stress can affect overall health if the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps us to calm down, cannot engage. These hormones can contribute to weight issues. This innate survival response can be triggered internally as well as environmentally. Negative emotions, events, memories, thoughts, traumas, programmed beliefs from childhood, and acquired beliefs from life experiences can generate or trigger the fight or flight response. Interrupting and stopping this fight or flight response alarm can facilitate the return of homeostasis (balance) to the body and mind.

We can change this by focusing on adding foods and activities into our lives that encourage relaxation and homeostasis in our bodies. Sugar and carbohydrates certainly do not help. Returning to the old way of eating is what got us overweight, obese, or morbidly obese over and over again in the first place. We have to be ever vigilant in maintaining our healthy lifestyle and to stick with our healthy way of eating. Every choice we make can help us to maintain our success. This is not a new way of life or eating, it is a healthy way of eating. Period. We have to change our thinking. We have to let go of the old vs. new mentality. That can be hard since everywhere you turn there is a new diet. Yes, many doctors do say that some weight gain is normal. That is fine as long as we make up our mind to work to stay at a weight we feel comfortable at. At some point we also have to learn to accept our body. Thats a big one because those of us who dont get plastic surgery have to learn to live in baggy skin suits. Personally I like my baggy skin suit much better than the fat suit I used to wear.

Whether we reach our goals or not or even go beyond our goals, we still have more head work to do. I bought the audiobook of The Gabriel Method by John Gabriel a while back and it has really helped me to look at things differently and to change my thinking to adding healthy foods and nutrients instead of eliminating or going without. I had slipped back into the old diet thinking which we all know doesnt work or we wouldnt be here. I also bought the audio book of The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body Confidence by Jessica Ortner which has been a God send for dealing with the emotions and events that continually come up in my lifes journey. I have also been listening to the Psychology of Eating podcasts with Marc David that have been amazing and very healing for me. He hits right to the core issues.

My surgery initially eliminated my cravings for sugar but with the stresses of the last few years, the sugar craving returned for a while. Feeding my body what IT wants rather than what I think I want is helping me to find balance again. I had to go back to listening to my body. I wasnt listening for a while. I found I was eating sugar in compensation for the lack of sweetness in my life but I am finding the sweetness of life again now that I am paying attention again. With the adding of certain nutrients and refocusing on listening to what my body needs, I am feeling much happier and more relaxed with myself and my life. We can never stop listening to what our body needs. Every. Single. Day.

Great post!

Have I told you two ladies lately that I love you??? ('cause I do!!)

JJ

I love you too JJ!

I'm a year and half out and have experienced a few struggles from time to time. After reading Becca's post I had to ask myself "What got me to the point of morbid obesity"? For me the answer was night time eating.
I'm not sure what I was trying (and still do) try to fill or what feelings I was STUFFING down....I'm not really sure I will ever have the answer to my personal questions. I have tried to replace night time snacking with healthy choices. But I don't think that works for me. I have decided that eating to soothe, hide,cope, punish , numb, avoid etc...by substituting healthy choices instead of junk food isn't the answer either... for me at least.
I think I need to be keenly aware that food, even healthy choices, are still a means of supplicating some unknown feelings and emotions. A way to fill some kind of void that I'm not yet aware of.
Becca and Cat brought all this to the surface as I read these posts.
I think it's time to DITCH the carrots and hummus and DIG IN to my feelings.
Thanks to all who lend help and support here with their observations a sage advice.
Jo

Becca, I'm only three weeks out and I have the same worries. Thank you and the rest of you for sharing your thoughts about it.

I think you are so right, Becca.

I've become very aware of how emotions can drive my eating habits. It takes daily mindfulness to be on top of it. ......

Still, I've gained 10 lbs that I'm now working on shedding. I think that managing to keep the gain minimal is essential to maintenance. My bad is that I stopped weighing myself daily. I think I need that to be in my tool box, so I'm back to regular weighing. ;)

I should add that I had my surgery in 2010, it will be five years this November! Already five bloomin' years!

Hey JJ and Leah!!

Love you two too!

These two ladies and farmgirl know their stuff!! They were my guiding light pre op and early post op.

And Jo, I think that is a smart move you're making :)

Hi all! Been a long while since I've checked in here...no excuses.
I'm feeling desperate now as I've gained 20 lbs since November! I've come up with all kinds of reasons, like refusing to go out in the cold to get to the gym, which to me felt totally legitimate, not wanting to walk/exercise alone, etc.
I'm over 2 years post op, still eyeballing meals at a cup or less, still getting 2liters of water daily, still taking my vitamins/supplements and still focusing on mostly proteins. For the first two years I was still doing a Body Fortress protein powder drink once or twice a day but was told by my surgeons PA to stop because she said I needed solid proteins instead of liquid. I wonder if that's contributed to this weight gain? Or is it the stress hormones? Or is it the fear of dumping that is no longer there anymore, which most definitely kept me in check for so long, and am now able to tolerate the goodies again?
I'll never forget hearing someone say long ago that losing the weight is
The easiest part of this journey...keeping it off is the hardest! Every day is work. I still have no regrets and still proud and happy with myself but I'm getting worried! ;-/

This support group is such a light with wonderful people to pass and share their insights and knowledge. I just celebrated my 6 month out date yesterday. I have been told by a dr the 3 yr will tell you if you will remain stable or not. It is all about the head. I have to do a lot more head work to make this a life time chance. I appreciate dearly all the good information loaded on this post. Peace and Love, Julie

Lisa, I still have my protein coffee every morning. Even at nearly 5 years in August I still can't eat much solid protein. I just fill up fast. I need the extra protein in the mornings since I just can't eat enough solid protein. I personally don't think having protein shakes/smoothies could contribute to weight gain. You mentioned a few things that do contribute though. Stress hormones, totally! Fear? Totally! Fear causes stress. Making unhealthy food choices? Definitely. Worry? Totally! Worry causes stress. Yes keeping it off is the hardest part but the more we struggle, the more stressed we get. The more stressed we get the more stress hormones are activated. It's a nasty cycle. I think relaxing into gratitude, enjoying being proud of ourselves and happy along with making one healthy choice after the other do more for us than fear, worry and stress.

Lcat, thanks for your insight....i'll definately work on trying to eliminate the stress and all things that come with it, from my life!
in regards to the fear i was mentioning, it was the fear of dumping i had for the longest time that kept me in line. well, now that i know i'm able to handle certain goodies, that fear of dumping isnt necessarily there anymore, unfortunately! LOL
today was a new day though....starting fresh by buying protein powder and i'll try incorporating that into my diet once again. Like you, i cant really handle lots of solid protein. Also, forgot to mention, i'm only getting between 1200-1300 calories per day (according to fitness pal), but other sources say i should be getting between 1450-1650 cals! that almost sounds impossible to me! i've been getting around 1250 daily. i work an office job, so am mostly sedentary, so i wouldnt think lots of calories would be good for me (?) Its all mind boggling, for sure!

Thank you so much Ladies for sharing! I am 2 years out now and am having the hardest time with regain and head hunger and big time stress. I really need to get a handle on all this stress and go back to taking care of me again. It is so easy to just let myself succumb to all that is happening in my life. I saw a therapist this week but he basically told me that I already know what to do. I'm thinking I need to try another one. I need some more tools for coping with all the worry and stress. Anyway, thanks for sharing and letting me know I'm not alone!

Lisa, you said "i'll definately work on trying to eliminate the stress and all things that come with it, from my life! "

I think stress is just something that happens and we often cannot eliminate it. Maybe its more about finding new and healthier ways to cope. STRESS HAPPENS.

Unless of course you figure out how to get rid if it... I'd buy that book! LOL!

Might I suggest actually weighing and measuring your food? Eyeballing it can be very unreliable.