I have decided to share my story. This site has really helped me...more than you guys will every know...I hope that my experience has been of some help to some of you as well.

I will be 13 years out on March 10. I started this journey at 5'7" and 296 pounds. It was time to lose the weight and get healthy. I had a history of anorexia prior to surgery. I was anorexic, seriously bad, when I was in high school...to the point of hospitalization...but I was cleared through psych for the surgery anyway. I lost down to my goal weight of 140 in about 15 months and stayed there for about 2 months but then my mind started playing games with me and I could not stop myself from losing. I did not know how to do the maintenance stage. I was afraid that maintenance meant weight gain...the only thing I knew how to do was continue to lose weight because that meant I would not regain the weight. I kept losing and losing...granted it was a slower loss but it was continual. I stopped going to my nutritionist because I knew I was in trouble and could not follow her guidelines. Within another 4 or 5 months I was down to 110 pounds. I was in real trouble. I was still taking all of my vitamins but was not getting much nutrition from food. I started seeing an eating disorder nutritionist who just did not get the requirements of a RNY person who had an ED...her eating plan for me just literally would not work with my pouch so I went back to my nutritionist at my doc office but she had no clue what to do with me. I was really trying my still could not get a hold on it. It had nothing to do with vanity at all...it was just fear of gaining weight...or of not being able to maintain my weight loss. I kept losing weight down to 96 pounds...exactly a 200 pound loss...that is a lot. I ended up in an inpatient program for eating disorders and then in a residential program where I had to really focus on my food fears and on my OCD issues. I was able to gain back up to 115 pounds with the goal of getting back up to 125. I have not made it back to 125. I maintain at 115 but I am not on a meal plan that it nutritious, has about 110 grams of protein, 100 or more ounces of water, and has a little more variety. I am much happier now and am able to enjoy life more. I also have struggled with exercise addiction and now exercise with a trainer 3 days a week and on my own 2 days a week and take 2 days off. Working with a trainer has helped me a lot. My health has, for the most part, help up quite well through all of this. I have been very, very lucky. This group has made me realize how lucky I have been and how important it is for me to stay focused on protein, water, vitamins, and SUPPORT. I did do this to get healthy. It has been a rocky road for me...and I would not change my choice to have the surgery. I have learned a lot about myself and how I tick. I never go a day without getting in my protein, water, and vitamins...I know the consequences. Thank all of you for your kindness and support. You are all doing so great. I hope I can help you on your own individual journeys.