Well my first week back to work did not go over so well. I had a doctors appointment Tuesday Morning before I reported back to work and found out I was down another 15 pounds for a total weight loss of 65 pounds pre and post op. Yayyyyyyyyyyy

Wednesday went well for the most part everyone was amazed on Tuesday at the change in my appearance and all I did was talk, laugh and smile from all the overwhelmingly nice things people had to say. The compliments were in abundance all day and by the end of the day I had the worse headache from laughing and smiling so much but overall a great day.

Enter Thursday, went to work determined to tackle my work, get acclimated back into the work flow and bammmmmmm I got sick on my lunch and started throwing up, not only did i throw up but i was throwing up blood. I called my doctors office and was instructed to go straight to emergency which I did. After 8 hours I was sent home none the wiser as to why I was bleeding. They took my vitals, asked a slew of questions, the main one was when i throw up is it a cup full - well no sir it's not but that's what I am trying to avoid - they called my surgeons team downstairs, the young lady asked me the same questions, listened to my heart and abdomen, took some notes and returned upstairs to consult with my surgeon after another two hours and its now going on 10:30 and i was told to go home and follow up with my surgeon on Monday. So I have to go to work tomorrow and leave my 2:30 for a 3:10 appointment and hopefully I will get some resolve.

To tell you that I handled all of this well would be a lie, I was so depressed and beginning to have buyers remorse big time, after talking with my cousins and being reminded why I did this (my health) I laid low for a couple of days fighting depression and then thank you God, bounced back. I am not about to let the enemy get the better of me. All my reasons for having this surgery were legitimate reasons which I stand by. What I had to realize is that I want what I want when I want it and right now that is to be healed so I can move on and back to some kind of normalcy, but it doesn't happen like that in the "real world" and I have to learn the art of "patience"

Overall I think what really happened is that I got overwhelmed with being back to work and having people pull on me after a month and a half of being out that my eating/work schedule clashed and i failed miserably to pay attention to my pouch (now that doesn't explain the bleeding). My mission this week is to try and balance being back with my eating schedule and make all of this mesh somehow. Rationally I figure I could have irritated the bleeding with aggravating my throat when i throw up, I just want it to stop right now (the throwing up that is). They kill me though telling me to try and limit the vomiting like it's something I want to do on a regular.

I hope everyone has been doing okay - Congrats to all the newbies on the bench and please don't let any of this frighten you, we all have a different journey and I wish you all well. If it is any consolation, I'm told I look great. My biggest problem is patience and i will continue to fight the good fight of faith. Love to you all