I am right there with you!

I have learned over the years... i am a preparer! LOL! I drive my hubby CRAZY for weeks before we go camping! I think its my way of feeling in control :)

I'm almost 7 weeks post op so I'm still dealing with the emotional part. For me, I simply miss being to emotionally turn to food. I have found myself flat out ANGRY and in the beginning I thought I was loosing my mind and really was second guessing my decision to have WLS. however when I took a second and stepped back, there was an emotional trigger that started the anger. Sometimes it would be a bill collector calling, dealing with my x husband, or frustration with my teenage daughter. As soon as I was able to identify the trigger I was able to handle the emotions much easier. Food will be something I will always have to deal with, unlike an alcoholic we can't just put down food! We must have it to survive. I am working daily on focusing on eating to live NOT living to eat!!

i think the key to any addiction is to recognize it and get some tools that really help you cope.

I'm not talking gum and knitting needles here.

Let's look at the basics of addiction. You turn to the substance for a high. to unwind. to get away. I have seen food, alcohol, and cigarette addiction up close and personal. I know this will sound unkind, but lets not fool ourselves, one is no different than the other. We may have to eat but we don't have to eat twinkies. just as the alcoholic or smoker has to walk past the beer or smokes in a grocery store, we have to walk past the twinkies.

That is where the surgery helps so very much. In the beginning you just will not be able to eat the volume or types of food you did before. This is when you MUST form your new coping habits because this is when your pouch is the most powerful.

WedelH is right, you will be mad that you can't eat. You are forced to find another coping method.

I was to the point that i loved food so much, but i WANTED to hate it. i WANTED to never eat again. Of course, i have to eat. But now i am in control of my eating. At two years out, i have a piece of candy. But it one piece. It's not because i'm sad or angry or anything else like that. I have my bite and walk away.

Addiction recovery is about breaking the hold food has over you. You will see people on here say they never do carbs anymore, or they never eat their "trigger foods" anymore.

You need to prep yourself for that dedication. Like for me, i can have one piece of candy, but thin mint cookies are another story. for the first time i bought some a week ago when i shopped while hungry. i ate 6 the other night! in like 2 minutes. my pouch is still faithful, and i dumped. So the next night DH got out those thin mints and i didn't have even one!

I have talked to others who are overweight about my RNY. They say things like, oh i could never give up ... fill in the blank. That is a person who is NOT ready for WLS.

It may be that you will not need to give up thin mints, but you may have to give up something. You WILL have to give up something, maybe many things. Are you ready to do that?

Get in counselling for addiction. i don't believe that just because you are addicted food it means you have some deep dark secret eating at you, it could be simply you're addicted to the high. a good counselor will help you through either case.

Good Luck
Rochelle

I'm 15 months out from RNY and you are wise to be thinking about this now. I had a 6 month waiting period for my insurance and it was a blessing. Forced me to face some of the head stuff. I got rid of sugar, bread, junk carbs (my go to in stress situations), carbonation and anything I wouldn't have after surgery. It was tough!! Made me face some things fast. This is a critical part of the process. If you don't get them addressed early, you will transfer the coping mechanism that food was to something else. Transfer addiction is real. I know several people who have had issues with alcohol, gambling and shopping excesses. They finally had to face the things that got them to the point of needing surgery.

Start living like you are post op already. Get rid of the foods you won't have after surgery. See what issues come up. Get into counseling now and you will have a jump start. Something my surgeon requires is that his patients write him a letter explaining why they want this surgery. It was tough and cathartic. A book i read many times before and after my surgery ("Emotional First Aid Kit" by Cynthia Alexander) suggests writing a pros/cons list for having surgery. It was an eye opener. Most of the things on my cons list were foods while the things on my pros list were activities! I highly recommend this exercise and this book!

Best wishes on this journey. It is not the easy way out but it is totally worth it!!!

Linda

well said rochelle and linda
but it does get easier newbies!!
once your pouch and your noggin get on the same page.
the surgery does the following for you..all on its own with no help from you:
you WONT be able to eat AS MUCH as you used to
you WONT be able to eat WHAT you used to i.e. dumping
you WONT be able to eat WHEN you used to (like me all day)
you WILL lose alot of weight because of malabsorbtion
you WILL feel a million times better about about yourself
trust me...its get easier and before you know it you wont even think about food like you used to...you will eat to stay alive and to show off the new you!!!
you will end of not missing food...
im quitting smoking in a few weeks...im gonna miss smoking at first..hell yes i will..i enjoy smoking as much as i used to enjoy eating...but like the wls i had..im doing it to stay around.
i quit drinking because of my heart issues a few months ago...did i miss it...yep...but that feeling went away quick when my heart issues went away..(AFIB)...
as you shrink...and you most certainly will...your cravings will shrink too!!
:-)

I'm 3 1/2 wks out, did all the research and preparation
Thought I had it covered
Then 1 wk in I had what I call my psychotic break
Pissed at everyone, packed my bags to runaway( funny now, I'm 53)
It is NOT human to not chew for 2 wks post-op and your head does not know your pouch is not hungry.
There is a wonderful list someone bumped up here that really helped.
So if the person who bumped that up for newbies can find it & do it again, I think it's time.
No more head hunger anymore;)
I actually work in a restaurant, doesn't bother me in the least
I sip water/ protein drinks all day since I don't have time to sit and eat lunch
Just know it will go way if it happens to you
Good luck ;);)

I'm 7.5months out and have been trying to prepare myself for the cravings of junk. It hit yesterday. I felt like I wanted to eat everything in sight for the first time since surgery. It really scared me because I was a huge junk eater. I didn't need any reason, I just kept eating. I had a few things (rye chips, pb pretzels) that I usually didn't want at all. I have not dumped even once since surgery, even with eating a piece of cake. I feel better today but am thinking about going to see the psych dr who did my pre-op assessment. I definitely want to get a handle on the head stuff and not gain weight back.

I learned a few years ago...The hard part about most of us is that we have a food addiction, the hard part about an addiction is giving up the thing that makes us addicted. Well with food we can't do that. So unlike drugs or smoking, we have to learn to live with our addictions in moderation...now that being said...when people say eat less or eat better, for some of us its really hard, especially if you are a food addict like I am. Food is the only addictive substance we can not fully give up.

You will have a emotional break at some point, thats what we are all here for that support. I know I am going to have down days, just know that its normal, realize that your gonna not always be perfect about the diet, but its important to get right back on track. Don't tell yourself tomorrow I will do better and dont beat yourself up when you don't get it perfect.

Now with all that being said, its scary, no one knows how they are gonna feel, the best thing to do is be honest with yourself, if it gets to be too much seek help right away. Post online a lot during down times, get out of the house, find things that you can wrap yourself in other than food.

I had Lap Band 3 years ago, but I know I am going to face these things all over again with RNY in 2 weeks. I ordered some cross stitch supplies and some good novels to read. Hopefully I can keep myself busy enough to lessen the stressful times but we will see...

Lots of Love
Tara

I think going and talking to a therapist helps. Not friends or family because even though they love us it's better to verbalized what ever your going through to a therapist. They can help you think about things in ways you probably haven't thought of. You verbalizing what your feeling or not feeling puts it out there, so to speak, and releases it into the universe so your not carting those thoughts around with you. It's healthy and it can make you feel better. Especially going to a therapist that deals with WLS.

Wow!! Thank you so very much!! I think I am going to stick this thread under my favs so I can come back to it over and over again!!

Def. talk to a therapist
I've been seeing one for a while, and what a great help thru my surgery, head hunger and just dealing with such a life change.
Try it
Good luck ;)

Thanks everyone for all the great advise. My husband just had surgery and is struggling with the emotional aspects. I encouraged him to join the group

I am 1.5 weeks out, I had the gastric sleeve. I have never experienced anything like this in my life. I have come to realize that the way I handled stress was to eat, well guess what I AM EXTREMELY STRESSED, and cannot eat. I feel extremely trapped!!
I have put my wife through hell with this, but she is being very patient in helping me find ways to cope. Water is not going down very easy, every drop is met with an explosion in the pouch, it is s balancing act that seems to consume my whole day to plan. Malt O Meal seems to work along with copious amounts of popsicles, ice cream seems to go down as well. I was craving bread yesterday and ventured into no mans land and had a couple of bites of toast, I think I discovered dumping syndrome. It is not a particular pain just an all over quiezzy feeling followed by sleep, not good.
I know this will get better but I have had moments in the closet of screaming! If anyone is considering this please make sure you understand what you are getting into! You really need to have a support network you can turn too. It took me about a week to find this site and it is a relief to know I'm not alone.

Baja,
I am still pre op, so I can only imagine what you are going thru... But I am glad your wife pointed us all out to you! There is AMAZING support here!!