*hugs* I only went to one of the support group meetings in my town.........they were so messed up in my eyes . It was all about drinking and the lady next to me envied that I couldn't keep anything down and she could and apparently did eat everything...A friend of mine had to go like 3x and the lady in charge was telling them how she got sick on mac and cheese but she was going to keep eating it till she forced her body to accept it......my friend called her program and asked for alternatives...........So see it happens everywhere. Stick to the people who advocate you follow your program and give you healthy suggestions we know when someone is leading us wrong.

I'm a scale whore.........I weigh myself several times a day. I got into that habit because it gave me a false sense of power over the complications I have had. So with that disclosed Im going to sugest you stay off the scale.......or at least only weigh once a week......also have you done measurements? you probably are swapping fat for muscle so your scale wont move.........On the protein water front you need the protein to get rid of fat and the water to was it away............I have a drink with me all the time and sip still and I am close to 3 yrs po from the RNY and one year from the RNY revision......every 10 to 15 min sip you will be surprised how much more you get in that way. Your protein I guess maybe find foods higher in it then what you currently eat.......we can do 3 meals and 2 snacks. My surgeon still wants me on shakes so im not the best source on this front.

I have a 40 gram shake every night before work, and a 20 grm quest bar sometime through the day. I don't count those as meals, lol. More like requirements. I usually try to eat dinner with the family, and then I try to have something for lunch (3am) at work. I have a screwy schedule so I eat at odd times. I am one of the ones that struggles with real food. (5 months out) so eating is touch and go for me. Somedays I find something I like that sits, and then weeks like this nothing sits beyond the shakes and bars.

You need to find your normal. Your doc wants to keep you from taking up the habit of eating constantly again and losing control. You decide what you can handle. If you need 3 shakes a day in between meals, and that will not drive you to previous bad habits, then do it. Mh routine is totally oddball, but it is working for me. I have energy, I am still losing, and I am mostly content. (Somedays I really miss some food, still in mourning for some of my old friends that I have not tried, and therefore have not made me sick enough to not want them. )

At three weeks I was still so confused, and I also had the beginning of a stricture and all was getting stuck. :) now I am feeling like an old pro.

And if your support group is encouraging you to take up with old friends (pie and cake) find a new group. I have heard rumors of support groups filled with failing souls that are regaining. You need stronger support right now in your journey. I use this site and a chat room for all my support. I need winners cheering me on, and leadkng me to the winners circle to join them.

Keep your eye on the prize, you are in that hardest part of adaptation right now, but there is light on the other side and your life will be so much better, and you will feel so much stronger.

Ok no more late night rambles for you. :)

Wrathored,

That support group does not sound like it has the right philosophy and culture going on in it. A lot of times there is a lack of education of the patient by the doctor/hospital and a lot of misinformation spread, so thankfully there are these types of sites for people to gather who know the ins and outs of how to succeed. And they are very supportive, too. You are right, they should not have been eating those foods and below is some links to some reasons why from another WLS support group that I belong to. Finding long term people that have been successful or finding people who have struggled as time went on and had to find a way to overcome those difficulties are important. As well as the stories of people who failed and the reasons why, when they are sharing and being completely honest of what they did or didn't do. All these people can tell you what pitfalls to avoid on your journey if you can. Come to the websites, read the post, learn all you can in a positive and supportive atmosphere - that is my plan. I too have been to a support group like you mentioned that was full of bad information when I was looking into traditional weight loss support groups. This site and the one I have a link to below are very positive and full of good information. So take heart! There is hope!

http://www.beforeandafterhelp.com/index.php?showtopic=80475

http://www.beforeandafterhelp.com/index.php?showtopic=64429

http://www.beforeandafterhelp.com/index.php?showtopic=84265

"The RNY forces your body to loses weight because it rearranges the digestive tract and changes how the body absorbs nutrients.
**not sure if that counts as changing metabolism ( I am not a physician / or medical professional )
But the RNY procedure works to force your body to lose weight /to keep weight off for the first 18-24 months in almost all patients who have the procedure / then learns to slow that weight loss.
That is why getting rock solid good food habits in our lives during that 18-24 month honeymoon period is the blueprint to keeping the weight off as time goes on.
Why it does that and how is an eye opening experience and I suggest we all cruise thru RELIABLE sites on the web to get updates and info. I LOVE the google feature on the computer and have learned many things and had to unlearn others !
THIS is what I had to learn and learn again and again . . .
eating crap foods after the honeymoon period will put weight back on. " --- Liz123 from Bariatric Eating
So if you don't learn and practice good eating habits during the honey moon phase, you are setting yourself up to fail.

It does get better and easier. In the beginning I had a lot of issues that were related to the protein drinks being laced with lactose. Found and love a protein shake that is egg based and doing much better.
I found that I was running into the time issue with food and drinking and becoming a clock watcher too!! What I have started doing is leaving my drink in another room while I prepare my meal. It almost always takes about 30 min to get everything done and together. After I have eaten I set the timer on my cell phone for 1hr, and when it goes off I drink again until time to prepare the next meal. I am only 9 wks post op, and starting to feel 'normal'.

Pick and choose what you eat to get the most protein in each serving. I also have been using an unflavored protein powder to boost the protein count in things like cottage cheese pancakes that I make. One of my mainstays at three weeks, was egg drop soup. It was on my soft food list, and I would add a bit of frozen crab, or scallops since they are both soft, and higher in protein. I did not do chicken until about 6 weeks out. Just too intimidating. It just looked too big and hard..LOL

I am not mobile enough to attend a support group in person, but I have heard that some are like what you described. I just stick like glue to all the people here, and it's wonderful!!!! Love checking in and reading all the encouragement and successes. The openness and willingness to comment and answer questions is great...even the hard questions. You couldn't find a better place to be for support.
Hang in there..it gets better
pegmarie

I don't even own a scale. Tossed that POS out years ago! I could see myself in the mirror and that was enough for me. I'm going to only weigh in at the Dr.'s office. That scale has been tracking me since August.

I haven't had surgery yet, I start my pre op diet 10/8 and surgery is scheduled for 10/15. I think this support group is the best! I haven't posted much but I've been stalking for months. The information and imspiration you all give is priceless! That being said, I'll stick to stalking in this group for my support.

God Bless,
Melissa

sounds Like we are having some of the same struggles. it is hard to fit the protein and water in during a days time. I am now slightly dehydrated. this morning I tried just drinking my protein drink first and this may work better, gives we 30g in shake and 8g in milk. I was too full after, it took almost 2 hrs to drink. i am 15 days out from surgery, but feeling better now

VSG Aug 15
Don't be discouraged!
I struggle mightily with food and drink, and quite honestly am not as successful as you with eating or drinking.
I am allowed 4-5 small meals/snacks, and that is definitely helpful. Like you, given my stomach size and appetite, I would never make the goals eating 3x day.
I don't know why a dysfunctional Support Group is so disappointing, but I understand completely why that was a downer (and a shock). At least for me, I have an expectation that it will be a good place to be, with a good agenda and good people. I guess it all depends, but years ago I saw the same thing in a diet group that would talk about all the crap they were eating or going to eat.
I have found this site to be the best support group I've found.
I've avoided the scale here at home because I know if I start, I'll be obsessed/depressed with it.

thank you all SO much for replying. it really means a lot to me to know I have you all here to support me. I think im giving my scale away to my sister in law. she always comes over and weighs on it so she might as well have it. thanks Jamie for the link. I will check it out. love you all!!

Kara

You are right on track with the first of many many many many etc pauses. I still do not eat choc cake or pecan pie at three years. Why waste a perfectly good life with crap!

I had my surgery 2 weeks ago and I feel every thing you are saying. I've decided to only weigh at the doctors office and not focus on numbers, but just follow the program. My doctor says if I follow the process I will be successful. So throw that scale out! We can do this!

Hang in there, hon. These are the hardest days. Every day it will become easier. Breathe, take it one day at a time. Your body is still healing, and still trying to figure out what the heck happened! :)

I had a 4.5 week stall that started at my third week, but I was still melting fat like crazy! I'm willing to bet that that is what is happening to you, too. It is very common, and it is part of the healing and adjusting that your body is going through.

For me, learning to separate drinking from meals was a big adjustment, and I'm not surprised that it's a big change for your too.

Hang in there!

At first, I had to post notes all over the house just to remind myself to drink. The protein is so important because you won't be able to digest enough meat. Don't go to that support group,please. There are a lot of people who turn to sweets because they stay down easier than meats,pasta,rice for example. Whatever you do,don't resort to sweets. If you feel you need something do a sugar free product but watch the carb intake. Just try to remember protein before anything I've known people who drink a milkshake everyday? They wondered why they gained weight???????? It will turn around for you. Just follow the program and stay away from the nay Sayers.