Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group
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Does anyone else have to deal with food pushing relatives or friends even though they know you've have gbs? My 82 yo mother has been a food pusher as long as I can remember. I grew up with statements like "You don't eat because you're hungry, you eat to keep from getting hungry." It took me years to get past that one and to even learn the difference between physical hunger and mental hunger. I still struggle. Anyway, since my gbs it frustrates me to no end. I'm trying to eat right and sometimes I don't need much of an excuse to fudge and there she is telling me (a 327 lb woman-after losing 113 lbs) that I'm going to "catch" anorexia if I don't eat. They have only fried and processed foods there and nothing healthy that I can eat. Sometimes I take a protein bar or something like that to eat, or sometimes I take stuff to make a healthy meal, but she won't eat anything that's healthy. I guess it's kind of funny to think of someone calling ME anorexic. I've never been accused of that before. She cried when I went in for surgery even though the doctor told her I would die without it.. When I was going through the painful part of surgery she would ask me if I was glad I had it. When I said yes she just shook her head like it was imcomprehensible that I would want a chance at being healthy. The last time she was pushing good. I took my pannus part of my stomach out of my clothes and said "you see this? Does this look like someone who needs to be reminded to eat?" That's when she came up with the anorexia line. I wanted to scream. I have sat her down and talked to her many times. I have told her explicitly to stop and she comes back with "well, would you rather I not let you eat at all?" "YES" She stopped for that day but was back at it at my next visit a couple of days later.. I have to be there to relieve my brother from the caregiving at least three days a week, so it's not like I can avoid the situation.
Anyway, after all the venting what I really want to ask is does anyone else go thru similar situations and how do you all handle it?
Anyway, after all the venting what I really want to ask is does anyone else go thru similar situations and how do you all handle it?
Cut your mom some slack. At eighty two she came from a different era and she loves you, but can't quite equate weight loss with health. I do know some food pushers and they have different agendas and not all of them in our best interest, but I really think your mom isn't harboring jealously or ill will towards you. As far as individuals that do have those agendas, I prefer to be direct with them. If that doesn't work then I guess they really aren't my friends and I believe as time goes on many of us will come to realize that many individuals have issues with other success and we need to move on and away from them.
It's Mother's Day this weekend. Give your mom a big hug. I wish mine was here so I could do that and have a wonderful weekend yourself!
Maggie
No for food pushers who are 'friends' I do have these, they know I am workig on this and am tring to avoid things and you get that "Just one won't kill ya" type comments. I have a pack of smokes (that is stuffed with a sock but only I know it!!) on me at all times. I quit 2 years ago and none of my friends smoke. I bring out the package and say just one -- it wont kill ya, then they generally back off.