Pre-op is hard because the things I needed to eat was not realistic to what people eat who are not committed to a diet program (precise protein amounts, veggies, limited fruits, and no carbs). Pre-op I felt like I was on a diet...which we all know if not a life long way to live. My husband had no interest in eating my limited diet and ate what he wanted. Since I was not cooking complete meals during this time his diet was terrible and my thin husband even gained weight.

Now post op things are differently. I cook healthy balanced meals now almost every day. Instead of any focus on diet and loosing weight I am focusing on preparing healthy meals with lots of veggies and protein. We create a menu and shop each week to get healthy foods in the house. Meals may still contain foods I do not eat more than a bite of (such as potatoes or pasta) and I am ok cooking them for him because he asks for them. In reality pasta and potatoes are ok in small amounts balanced with protein and veggies, my job is to learn how to eat "normal" and include them.

So much of my life has been focused on diet and avoidance of certain foods that are "bad". All that did was set me up to fail at my prior diet mentality.

I told my husband he was fending for himself it he wanted junk. I cooked healthy for me from the beginning and still do. If he wants more it is up to him. You are doing this for you not him, so don't expect him to change just because you are. You will only be disappointed.

just like having surgery is something you had to decide on, dieting is something he has to decide on. It is obvious that he is not ready and thats OK you just have to do what you need to for yourself to be successful. He will either come around to your way of thinking healthy or he wont but you have to decide to not eat like he does. My husband was afraid to eat anything in front of me for fear it would compromise my success, to the point that he was losing weight and didnt need to. I sat him down at the advice of others on this group and explained that this was my journey and not his, although I appreciated his support. He now eats whatever he wants and I do the same.

First off you are preop, so it's very hard, like Sherry said, you're on a diet - just like all the ones before. It will be different after you lose. most of us have no hunger.

But as others said, remember this is your journey. Yes we want our spouses to be supportive. But you can't tell him he can't ever have ice cream (or whatever) again. I will say that you need to try to determine if he is just eating what he wants or if he is trying to sabotage you. Like, ice cream, is he eating his favorite flavor or yours?

given that he is overweight too he may have insecurities about you losing and then leaving. you'll need to help him through that.

you say HE is not adjusting well to YOUR diet. i think you are going to be sorely disappointed in your plans. have you ever had someone who's tried to get you to do a diet when you didn't want to? It's very upsetting, isn't it. I know that you only have good intentions for your BF. i know that you want him to be healthy. but just as this surgery is YOUR choice, it is HIS choice to not have it.

As i said you have a fine line to walk. He should support you, but yet you must support his choice as well. And you certainly can not expect him to follow a post op diet. You know how hard it is right now to eat according to the plan. After surgery you will have a powerful tool to help you, but he will not.

I know that you really didn't ask about any of this - you asked for meal ideas. honestly right after surgery you are on such a restricted plan that there is no shared menu. you are on liquids or pureed foods for like 4 to 6 weeks, then soft cooked foods. once you are on a normal diet it's a little different.

My husband does all the cooking and i eat the protein first and then veggies, maybe a bite or so of starches. He's very thoughtful in that if he is making something i can't eat - like sausage, he will make me chicken.

i'm sure if you are both respectful of each other, you'll find a place that works for you.

good luck,
rochelle