Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group

Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight in the form of fatty tissue, and the health problems ("co-morbidities") which result. If you are considering gastric bypass or have had it, join the community where we share our experiences and find support.

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pianodiva 11/30/2015

Hi everyone,

This morning my husband and I were discussing how to manage Christmas for our family. For the last decade or so, either my sister-in-law and her husband would host dinner, or my husband and I would.

This year, Christmas Day marks fourteen days post-op for me since my RNY surgery is on the 11th. On that day, I can drive again, but hosting a formal Christmas dinner for about twelve people is obviously out of the question.

I don't want to go to my SIL's house because I've always felt uncomfortable there, never really genuinely welcome--but that's a whole 'nother story.

I suggested to my husband that we have a simple dinner that would still allow family to come over and keep me out of the kitchen. He could make prime rib, my daughter (age 16) could make some sort of cooked veggies and my son (age 13) could do baked potatoes. (I know I won't be able to eat the roast; I have other ideas in mind for me.) He said absolutely not, but suggested going to a local restaurant that puts on a magnificent Christmas dinner every year.

My question to you all is this: if you were 14 days post-op, would you be able to handle going to a restaurant? If so, would it be tacky to bring a pureed meal for myself?

Thanks for any and all advice and opinions. On this, I'm truly stumped. I love to entertain and am perfectly happy with a simple affair that lets everyone else do the cooking so I stay out of the kitchen. I'm also happy to go out, but am wondering about the wisdom of such a decision. Hmmm...

akgirl48 11/30/2015

You are a strong woman and are on a mission. You will do what is best for you at this time regardless of which plan you pick. Have a very Merry Christmas and embrace the season. We have always had food of the center of our lives, that is part of our journey to change. You can do it girlfriend. BE STRONG. I am with you all the way. Remember you WILL make the best choice for you.

Read4ever 11/30/2015

Everyone's journey is different - but for me there is no way I could have either eaten at home or at a restaurant 2 weeks after surgery - I was on pureed foods and protein shakes. If it were me I would definitely go out - I wouldn't have had the energy to cook a large meal.

It would be much more enjoyable to let someone else cook (and especially clean!) and spend the time with family. As to taking your pureed food with you - bring it on - take care of yourself first and foremost!

ratsack 11/30/2015

your husband is a wise man, heed his advice

MNMama 11/30/2015

For ease and enjoyment of family, accompany them to the restaurant. You can check with the restaurant about bringing your own meal, or you can eat before you go and just enjoy some beverages while they eat.
It would be nice to stay at home, but that puts the work load on your husband, and if he really wants to go, why not?
Have a wonderful Christmas, and happy healing. Congrats on the new beginning.

jstmee 11/30/2015

I had my surgery, gastric sleeve 14 days ago today. Last Thursday I had 9 guests for Thanksgiving. I enlisted my husband and grown kids to cook and clean with my direction. My mother in law was supposed to host at her house, but the closer it came the more nervous she got. She's getting older. So I agreed to do it. Hindsight 20/20 not the best idea, but we all managed. I ate chicken broth. Some people at the table didn't even realize I wasn't partaking in all of the food. I haven't been hungry so being around food has not been a problem for me. I've been out to eat 3 times. Once for breakfast, I pre made my shake and asked for an empty coffee cup, poured my protein drink in that and sipped the entire meal. The other times I asked for their soup, strained, only broth. I sipped on that. If you told me prior to surgery I wouldn't be hungry, I just wouldn't have believed it. I have gone to the movies, love the smell of popcorn, but bo overwhelming desire to eat it. I go to surgeon tomorrow and I will be advanced to soft foods I think. I haven't had a morsel of solid food since Oct 31. Good luck with your decision. Keep it simple.

farmgirl392 11/30/2015

You are having major surgery! Believe me, you will not feel up to going out to a big deal dinner. You will tire easily. You will need lots of naps. You will need to sip one to two ounces of fluid every fifteen minutes if you are to avoid dehydration.

How about this? Have a home dinner catered. It will not cost much more than you would spend buying all the stuff to cook. Your family will have a meal, and you will be able to rest as needed.

Whatever you decide. Keep this in mind: Your normal is going to be different, but you won't even be close to that until about six months PO. So this is not going to be a "normal" holiday season for you.

I suggest that you focus on the non-food aspects of the holidays: the lights, the music, the decorations, the time spent visiting with friends (have them over to your place a few at a time). Let others worry about the food. :)

pianodiva 12/01/2015

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts. We decided we are definitely going out and have picked a local restaurant that is known for awesome service and even more awesome atmosphere. After a late breakfast, we'll open gifts with a few relatives, relax while I sip liquids every fifteen minutes, I'll take a walk, then put on the most beautiful dress I have and even put on makeup (!) for the first time since who knows when, so I can feel beautiful and thus have an even better time. Happy holidays, everyone!

imjj4short 12/01/2015

My parents had their 50th wedding anniversary right after my RNY. The celebration was at a restaurant and I was able to "pick at" some food. However, my post-op diet was very different than most - After 1 week of clear liquids, we were allowed to eat fish (or anything that swims), chicken (or anything that walks on 2 legs), tofu, beans, eggs, and cottage cheese. We were taught to chew everything to a liquid (eating mindfully). So, at the anniversary dinner, I picked at some fish - I could only eat 2-3 bites and I didn't want any more. The bigger issue for me was being tired and sore. I was exhausted afterwards.

You will learn to celebrate the holidays (and other family gatherings) without food being the central focus.

((hugs))

JJ

Lcat4 12/02/2015

Either way you won't be eating full foods. At least by my plan. I was still on pured at two weeks. The best I would say is just eat a bite at a time very well chewed and listen to your body. I wouldn't order food but would have a taste or two of my husbands or others food. It is not about food but fellowship and family. Just enjoy the family!

joannannotti 12/02/2015

So much great advice here! Lcat is right...it's not about the food it's about the family. Ratscak is right...your husband is a wise man! Farmgirl is on point....you will be tired. It takes a while to get your energy levels back to normal.
Whatever you decide, don't lift a finger. Enjoy Chrismas with family and friends. Let someone else drive the boat for awhile. Be good to yourself. Your health and recovery are the most import things right now. Ho-Ho-Ho Merry Christmas! Yes! I said it! Merry Christmas not Happy Holidays! LOL

pianodiva 12/02/2015

Thank you, everyone. You are correct--my husband most definitely is a wise man. Yesterday he asked what else he and our kids could do to help ease my stress levels before and recovery after the big day. I blurted out, "We need a dishwasher!!!" So he's buying me a dishwasher this week. (any recommendations?)

The funny thing, too, is that I've started getting a bunch of calls for holiday gigs this month and I've had to turn every single one of them down. It's getting easier to say no, actually. The end result will be so worth it, as I'll never get another opportunity to focus on ME and take care of just ME, so I'm learning to relish the opportunities as they present themselves.

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