Sometimes we just have to do what we have to do for ourselves... Often we spend our lives trying to please others, we care for our kids, our husbands, our coworkers, our friends, extended families, that we forget the most important person we should be caring for is ourselves... I know I did.

Years ago, when my eldest was a couple weeks old, (hes 31 now), someone asked me who the most important person in my world was... I had my son in my arms, looked down at him, seemed a no brainer to me... he was!

She said nope, not him... Well, heck, it sure wasn't my (ex) loser husband?? I was too old (wise age of 22! LOL!) for my parents to be the center of my world! I was at a loss... I asked her "Who?"

She said it was me! I was shocked! I argued with her... she said nope, it was me. Because if I didn't take care of me first, then how was I going to be there for my baby? Or anyone else in my world?

I'd like to say, my light bulb went off then and there... and I started taking better care of myself, and putting my needs first, so I could be all I could be for the rest of my family and loved ones... But nah, I was 22, remember? :)

It took another 10 years before what she told me that day really sunk in... and when it did, I kicked out my loser of a husband and started putting myself first... However, even then, it has taken me ANOTHER 20 years to get closer to my goal... Of taking care of me first... :) :)

Anyways, do what you need to do for you... they are scared for you, scared to lose you... but they will be ok, and you will be ever so happy you did it! :)

The choice, final decision and the action has too be 100% for you. For me personally, being the weight I was, I felt like I was already dead. I didn't do anything I enjoyed anymore, I was embarrassed going anywhere, heaven forbid I have to sit in a staduim seat, or even a booth at a restaurant. So yes, I stood up and made this choice. Anyone that wanted to come along on my ride is ellcome, and anyone that was against my choice could zip their lips and watch from the back row. Dang it, I am still young enough to live a good life, and this is my chance to do it! :)

I have actually had the same problem with my hubby and daughter. I think they love you so much they are afraid. I'm not sure why our families always think of the worst scenarios first. My hubby and I have had some deep down heart to heart talks and he finally realized this surgery will save my life and he knows I've committed myself finally to lose the weight forever.

So I say NO you are not being selfish, you are saving your life so you can enjoy your family for a good many years! It's not easy by any means and it won't be easy ever! You will have to work at this for the rest of your life but the thinner you are the easier it will be to stay there.

Good luck. It will happen if you believe it will. :-)

Let me first say, that this surgery is definately not the easy way out. It is a complete lifestyle change that is both physical and emotional. There are several stages that you go through but you get healthier every day. Yes, there are risks in the surgery, but more risks I think if you stay heavy. Health issues, and your body not working. I think once your family sees how amazing your transformation will be after the surgery, they will be happy that you did it. Good luck. :D

Thanks Ladies! They called me today and my surgery date is June 19th. It took my insurance company 1 day to approve it! Doing the nervous but happy dance

I concur with everything that has already been posted....

When I first approached my husband about it, he didn't even want to talk about it.... In the end he came to me and said I think it's time... I want you around for a long, long, time...

He was the only support I had in my family.... No one else wanted me to do this.... But I wanted a chance at a healthier life and one that was going to give me back a "quality of life"....

It sounds like your husband and daughter are very scared.... But I believe you have to do what is best for YOU... And only YOU knows what that is....

They will come around, and your husband will see this is NOT the easy way out.... This is only a tool, but a very powerful tool if it is treated with respect....

I hope in time he will come to support you and help you... I know my husband is my biggest supported now and I could not have gotten through these past 3 1/2 months without him....

If you are peace and have prayed about it, then go for it. It is understandable that your family is worried for you but this will be a new start and a happier you. Have your husband go to your surgeon the next time. Complications are so rare these days. Maybe that will make him more comfortable about the surgery. My prayers go with you and your family.

It took me awhile to bring up RNY with my husband, I felt ashamed of myself. I know that it is not an easy solution, it's going to change both of our lives. It was kind of funny how it was brought up, a guy he works with had it done a few years ago (400 down to 180). He was telling me about this guy and I just said that yea, I had put some serious thought into doing it as well. He said that while he loves me now, he knows that I've struggled with weight since basically the beginning of our relationship. I'm not doing this for anyone besides ME! I have to put myself first, above anyone else because in the end you have to live with yourself.

I don't think you are selfish at all. If anything, I think your family is being a bit selfish. Perhaps your husband is feeling insecure because he knows you'll be losing the weight. You have found your peace, I think you know what is best for you.