That is indeed a good question. One I beat myself up for years with. Personally, with the insulin and pills I took for diabetes, I still gained weight and was very strict with my food. My diabetes was in excellent control, but i wanted to get rid of it. So the surgery was my only hope. It took care of it. I think all of us has our own issues and to why we can't lose the weight on our own. Even my doctor told me my metabolism was next to nil? Sorry I can't answer for you..only for myself..

Explain to him that you have tried diets and lost the weight, BUT gain back plus more weight. This surgery is a tool to help you lose weight, committ to a healthier lifestyle and choose healthy foods. My surgeon told me that it was my genes being overweight and it was not all of my fault. That I was fighting heredity to a certain point. I started crying because after all of these years, I had a doctor to tell me straight that I suspected for years. Good luck.

I agree with Cheryl, she is absolutely right. I tried and tried and tried some more with no results. I might lose a few pounds here and there but they came right back. Once I had the surgery and began to recover it began to dawn on me that no matter what I had tried before it was not going to work.

Some people are just made that way and there are probably a lot of variables that influence it. I think hormones, genes, lifestyle, the altered state of the body after childbirth, and many other things come together to create the perfect storm in many people.

Now I feel a little indignant when someone suggests that you can lose weight just by not eating as much and exercising more. That is not always the answer. I actually feel sorry for Oprah. She has all the advantages and yet she still struggles. I think it's because she has the perfect storm too but she's convinced that if she just tries harder she will beat it.

I am looking forward to quality of life. Although he may love you as you are you may need to explain to him how yo dont have quality of life.
As I told my husband - I wanted to be able to go kayaking and rock wall climbing with him and our sons - I didnt want to be a bystander because of my weight. The pain in my joints the diabetes all compound it. Looking forward to longer life without complications such as kidney failure loosing limbs was enough for us to say yes.

I agree with all the other comments if we could have lost it by just eating less and exercising it would have happened my now for most of us. My husband told me he would cringe everytime I told him I was going to start another weight loss program, every time I would lose, mine you never to goal, and then I would start gaining it again and gain more than I lost. It have been a vicous roller coast AND I WANT OFF! I know it will always be a struggle even with the surgery but I am using it as a tool to help me control the foods I eat, if it is going to make me sick I will not eat it!

Have a great day! Back to work :(
Michele

Ahh the why cant you do it on your own question. My mate tells me I "took the easy way out" this coming from a man who needs to lose about 80 pounds is on insulin and numerous other meds due to his obesity. I explain to him that the traditional diets I did in the past stopped working and that I have lost 100 pounds at least 5 times on my own only to gain it back and then some. (personally I think he prefers me heavy). Now that I am 15 months out and 140 pounds less I am concerned about gaining it back but here is how I keep that from happening, I have infused my life with physical activity and know that if I stop it will come back. Exercise keeps me energetic, less hungry and feeling mentally great. I would have never been able to exercise like this had I not dropped all this weight. Tell him thanks for his concern, that you have thought about this really hard and feel its your best opportunity to beat this problem. Sometimes its okay for them to not understand but to let you make the adult decision regarding your own well-being and life. Good luck.

You ask why should you have the surgery, I would ask you do you want a better healthier life? Maybe writting in a journal would help you sort through those emotions. As you write you could go back and examine why you felt that. I had to have the GBS due to my health- I had a heart attack at the age of 37 due to my weight. I was 350+ , could not walk without a cane, was always in the hopsital because my lungs would fill with fluid. Basically my body was shutting down due to the fat . So I had a choice- Live or die. I chose to live, a healthy life. The surgery was jsut a tool to help me get going, the rest I had to do myself. Eat right, exerecise everyday and self examine my self destructive ways. I kept a journal and it helped me discover why i ate and did the things I did.

My favorite question ever. If I could have done it "the right way" why would I chose to live like this??
Food is not looked at like an addiction. Would someone say "why are you going to rehab? Just quit drugs on your own"? Never!

I have given in to my addiction. I have surrendered myself. It is a proven fact, backed up by many healthcare studies that diet and excercise alone is not successful in treating the morbidly obese.
If it was a matter or eating and excercise...no problem! We have all been on 100 diets but no one has ever suggested looking into why we eat!!!

I got asked that question alot, My answer to that question was. I had gained and lost the weight of several adults over the years. And that yo-yo effect is much worse for your body than just being obese. I could lose 50 pounds but it would always come back, sometimes quickly sometimes slowly. Take him to your support group meetings and your doctor appointments that really helps family to see that your going to be ok. I am sure hes just worried.

For me... weight loss surgery gave me the big head start. I saw results (major motivation) and felt healthier (comorbidities were resolved) so I was able to get more active and start enjoying life (attitude is everything) as opposed to the past diet attempts where I lost say 10 pounds, still hurt and then lost motivation... quickly put the 10 back on and usually a little more.

Also with RNY my pouch fills quickly and I feel satisfied unlike a diet where I was HUNGRY all day and counting the minutes till my next feeding.

~Michelle

Thank you all for giving me such great answers. They all ring true for me. I need to loose 200 pounds and I feel like I've been beating my head against a wall trying to do it with diets on my own for 15 years. I never make it past 10 pounds lost before the weight starts to creep back on. My hubby has never really had a weight problem...maybe 20 pounds to lose at most. Her just can't relate to my situation, evenb though he has been witness to it for years.

I am psyched for the surgery and will do everything I possibly can to make it a success.

I can not add much more than others already have, but as I await my surgery date, I've wondered how I'd answer this too. Fact is,,, it is NOT the easy way out and we all know that.

Fact 2, we have tried how many diets and lost that magic 50 lbs or so , then with get frustrated, maybe limited by other health issues, and seem to stay at that spot, til we get so frustrated and gain that and more back. Right?

. Fact 3,my surgeon mentioned that in the morbidly obese, diet and exercise alone are successful in less than 2% of us. If you have Diabetes, the chance to simply get rid of it, seems almost enough right there!

Need more reasons? You deserve to be healthy !
Cindy in Fl.

Well, haven't we all beaten ourselves up with this thought of "doing it on your own"?? Here I am at age 58,and after many years of "doing it on my own" in one form or another -Jenny Craig,Nutrisystem,Weight Watchers,LA Weightloss,low-cal,low-fat,low-carb,count calories - couldn't we ALL just go on & on??!! Ever since my early 20's (having kids), I've fought the weight battle. It's not that I could'nt lose the weight. I just couldn't keep it from coming back(adding more). I finally took this GBS route -definitely NOT the easy way-feeling this tool would provide the most permanent solution available. Thankfully, at this point in life,unlike in my 20's or 30's, I could afford the surgery. And don't think that I didn't hesitate to spend 30K of savings in this economy & right before my husband's retirement, but we both felt the necessity in order to at least enjoy the rest of my life. Don't beat yourself with the thought of doing it on your own any more - you're heading for a bright, happy future! Good luck!

My hubby was soooooooooooooo supportive so I never had to worry about him, but I have run across many ney sayers that I have felt I need to explain myself to. My response to them has been that I was on a diet for 30 years and all I did was yo yo up and down the scales and got no where except unhealthy. I tell them that I chose the surgery for the opportunity to become healthy with the added benefit of weight loss!