A marriage in trouble before surgery will still be a marriage in trouble postoperatively.

If ten people tell you they got divorced, you'll think lots of people divorcbcause of the changes from surgery. But maybe those ten people would have divorced anyway......

Just something to think about.

It sounds like he is feel insecure and worried. I think that you need to work on why that is. And how can you help him with it. Try reading the 5 love languages. It will give you help with helping him feel your love. And then maybe he needs to read it, so he feels better about letting you know how he feels. Just an Idea.

I have a strong and healthy marriage... Not saying we didn't have a couple years awhile back that were touch and go there for awhile :) But I think us surviving the rough stuff has added to the strength of our marriage now....

With that said, my hubby, who is very supportive and excited for me... and loves me very much no matter my size, does on occasion make a off hand comment if I'm going to stick around when I get "all skinny".

They are big strong men and don't want to appear weak or needy... but they also have insecurities and such... and I think they just are going to need a little reassurance along the way. We will change, become more active and outgoing I suspect... and while we are adjusting, I think we need to make an extra effort to remind them we are staying around :) And we still love and desire them... If we do that, and we have a good relationship, I think they will be fine. They will have to be patient with us and our changes, we have to be patient and understanding they too are affected by all of this as well.

At least that's my nickles worth on it... My hubby and I chat often about it. I figure its best to keep the communication going so he can bring things up when he needs to too :) :)

After seeing what I went through when my sister died my DH said he would leave me if I had the surgery. He's not that bad anymore. It took us both time to realize that I am not my sister. He isn't crazy about the idea but we'll stick it out together. Besides I've been more than supportive of his bi-polar issues. Neither of us want to train any one new at this point. We've been together for almost 21 years.

there are some issues with infidelity after WLS,studies have shown this to be true in both men and women patients...why?..nobody is really sure...lots of theories...anywhere from because of neglect or abuse when one was heavy and now they do some "payback"..really its all over the plaace..but it does happen alot

I have gone through a lot of changes in my life and at each stage I feared it would have an effect on my marriage. My husband has disabilities and I was always afraid that I married him because he was the only man who accepted me despite my size. What I have learned is that this is absolutely not true and the reason I married him is because he is a loving, supportive human being. I went back to college and I was afraid my edcation would tear us apart. It has not. I went into a corporate job and I thought that the space between his job (I am now a director and board member of my organization) and his job (he is a braille transcriber for a small not for profit) would create space between us. It has not. I was afraid once I lost weight that I would find that I would find new interests that would drive me away from our relationship. It has not.

Not that each stage didn't come with adjustment and effort on both our parts, but if your husband is willing to work with you and adjust to change, there is not reason for you to become divorced. Remind him that you are with him BY CHOICE and the surgery is not about him but about you and your future.

You may want to consider getting the books suggested or a few visits to a counselor to help put you both at rest. Attend your surgeon's gastric bypass support group and ask this question (your husband need not be present) and see how folks respond. I think you will get lots of stories and advice.

I am still only 15 1/2 weeks out of surgery, but i can't imagine life without my hubby... now he may want to divorce me because I am so moody, but I don't think so.... LOL

I had this surgery in hopes of having a healthier and longer life.... He actually came to me and suggested it might be time....

If a marriage is in trouble pre-op, I think it will be in trouble post-op... In my opinion, it all depends on the couple and the work they are willing to put in together... Surgery alone shouldn't be a cause for divorce... (But I have been wrong before, so you never know... )