I don't know where else to say this because I feel I have no one to talk to. I have been struggling emotionally lately and it's taking its toll. My only living grandmother, the only one I have ever known, just had surgery removing her kidney due to a cancerous tumor on it. While in the surgery they saw that her ovary looked suspicious so they took it. It turns out it was cancerous as well and now they are suspicious of more. She is sooooo strong and fought and won the battle with lung cancer ten years ago. She has decided if it's in her lymphnodes she will not do chemo and that is a very couragous choice and I will support whatever decision she decides on. I am just really sad.

Her late husband, the only grandpa I have known, passed away 5 years ago to cancer as well. It is so much to deal with and I always feel I have to be the strong one for everyone so I hold it all in. I can't do this this time. I am not ready to lose her. I did not get enough time with her. How can one family be rittled with so much pain before a break comes. After my grandfathers death my uncle had a cancerous brain tumor removed and recovered from lung cancer. My cousins both has malignant melanoma and one who has Congenital Heart Defect's from birth almost died having her one and only son. We are very strong but it's too much in a short period of time.

Sorry had to get this out and wanted to vent. Hope you all don't mind which I know you won't.

Thank you all and sorry I haven't been around. It has been crazy.