I realized today that had lost 150 pounds. That is almost whole person. I started out at 390 pounds. My life back then. Icould not sleep at night. I hurt all the time and could not even enjoy myself going places like Shopping or Sea world. Because Walking for long periods was a problem. I know was an embaresment to my family. I was just miserable all the time. I just hated myself for not being able to take control of my weight. Even watching my brother died at 600 pounds at 40 years and My father at 400 pounds at 45. It did not help with my weight lose no matter. How much I exercised and controlled what I ate.

Once your that size everything seem hopeless. The weight just does not seem to come off. Especially when you have a really high B.M.I. Being Obesite baby, child, teenager, then and Adult. Coming from a family that were Super Obesite. I had been fighting to get to a normal weight my entire life. You just kind of given up and stop wishing praying and dreaming for your dreams to come true. I just wanted to die and wanted to kill myself all the time. But, I was afraid to do anything about it. I lived in a Depressed state of mind for years.

I still have a long ways to go with my weight. But, After years of treatment. I no longer suffer from Depression. I still take my medication on a daily basises. It took lots of help, therapy, medication. And Love and help from my family. But, I hit a milestone. I lost 150 pounds. but, No importantly. I can honestly say that am happy with my life. I am free of depression and now understand that obesity and compulsive overing is disease that can kill you. and that I am in recovery. It also 100 pounds since my Gastric- by- Pass. I had lost 50 pounds before my surgery. I am 239 pounds. I feel better than I have in years. I have my hope back and a new life. I was 230 pounds in Highschool . So to get to that weight to me seem like a mircle to me. I always hoped it would happen and even prayed for it to happen for years,
I guess I had just given up all hopes and dreams. After 30 years of Disappointments. Even When had the surgery. I still could truly believe that this could happen to me. But, The weight is coming off slowly. I really was scared to death when for three months. I stalled 255 pounds and started bouncing between 263 pounds and 253. I was so worried that my body and my emotions . Would not let get under 250 pounds. I really had to work and change my way of thinking. Losing weight it is just not phyical . It is emotional.
But, Finally the weight came off. My new goal to get under 200 pounds. I use to think at would never happen. But, I am just 39 pounds away. The last time was 200 pounds I was in Junior High school. I am 42 years. I am finally getting my miracle. The one I thought would never happen.
I feel like my life is starting over. Just going into a store and being able to buy normal size cloths. People actually wanting to talk to you when you go out in public.
HW- 390 ,SW - 340 , CW-239,