Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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joycatcher 10/13/2017

Im working w/ fellow in GA who continues to go back out. It took me 3 "tours" thru GA until my last date which I have not gambled in 1.5 years consistently now.

Honestly, Lately I've had this sensation of wanting to go out. I put down ciggarettes 6 mos ago and I feel like the lack of ciggies is REALLY messing w/ my mental state. Alas, I push on knowing there is change inside needed to address and lay down these addictions that pile up as a way to numb out and medicate.

I thought asking for a simple and HONEST answer to :

Why I want to gamble today and then Why I don't want to gamble today would be a good exercise for my friend.

I thought this would enable an honest perspective --- to step back and say -- ok if I keep doing this the rest of my days on earth -- what will that look like?

There are a million ways one can live their life, and perhaps she just isn't coming to terms w/ reality -- OR it really isn't upsetting her apple cart enough to want to stop? I don't know . I just thought it would be a simple exercise to discuss, honestly approached.

Then I thought I should do it too today-

Here is mine.

Why I want to gamble today:

Pure escape -- completely forget about past present and future

Some socialization but not TOO close w/ gamblers and casino employees

Comradery with other gamblers --we are all looking and loving any luck

That MINI vacation feeling (decadent, luxurious, special)

SOMETHING to do

SOOOO EASY in schedule-- just take that car, blow off everything and GO!

Adrenaline when I win, dopamine anticipating the outcome

Serotonin just walking in

Feeling so LUCKY so BLESSED so SMART and smug

Putting in X and "stopping" leaving that machine w/ X times 3.... or jackpot

Feeling powerful as if I have one over on this big stupid gambling corporation

carve away the hours

Excitement of new machines, or Pleasure of my Stand by Regular ones

Forget about my problems

The allure of the free sodas, smoking, jumping from place to place picking the right spot

Food restaurants all right there

No problem being there at 10am during the week -- or the "off hours" - it is all normalized

Having the funds and feeling so special about it - a status

Lights low, warm surroundings

Nothing to do- barely have to pick up after myself -- all done for me

Taken Care of -- ask host for what I want

Power -- my money, I earned it , I can do what I want with it

Why I want to stop gambling:

the reality -- the truth about all the statements above is OPPOSITE from what they "present" -- and I could tear each one of those statements apart as FALSE truth. As Illusion. As Delusion. But if a sick person is living in delusion -- they think that is their truth. Don't even SEE the LIE. Don't even recognize the trap. Pure impulse to salve ANY discomfort!

It is so easy to see out of it.

the action gives me zero , zippy , chance at LIVING ---- it is the living I need to work on , the fun, the excitement, the natural and REAL connections, real excitement for things that MATTER

cause once I start -- that IS ALL I WANT

I don't want to stop cause I hate it , I want to stop because I LOVE IT TOO MUCH

As nuts as it sounds, I have to sacrifice my life for it. Sounds so dramatic but it was TRUE. I was caught in loving something SO BAD for me, that could Take MY life without a second thought --- this inanimate thing or action became a living breathing purpose for being. And ALL that mattered. Crushing anything or space for other life stuff.

Leading to Insanity. Death. and perhaps before that broken relationships, lies, stealing, scheming, self loathing, homeless state, no future stability, no health insurance, a life on the skids.

I came to surrender because I needed to, then the wanting came when I saw life away from it. I need to remind myself of the "want" to stay in life now and then.

Back2life 10/13/2017

Great post, thanks for sharing

"it is the living I need to work on , the fun, the excitement, the natural and REAL connections, real excitement for things that MATTER" - soo true.!
I think if we would find a replacement that gives us the thrill and fun and it would be good for us, we would not be longing for the "friend" that wants to kill us. That's why is so important to keep searching for new (healthy) hobbies b/c maybe there is something out there that we would get the thrill out of and we don't even know.
Congrats on 1.5 year gf
It's inspiring that it can be done. It is my 8th day and I will not gamble today.

itsjustmeagain 10/13/2017

great post, reading the positives, MY GOD that was me....fortunately and unfortunately, i was in an abusive/not physical but emotionally miserable relationship, he would take it all out on me, and then i needed someplace to let it out, and back off if you were going to tell me otherwise, well, yes, my new AR (abusive relationship) was gambling and eventually, i was able to use the skills of getting loose from HIM towards gambling, the high w/him, the end result...the high / the low, it just got to the point the low far outweighed the high, and although i slightly miss both of them, i know the result.....and now i have FAITH, LOVE and PEACE and back off you if you try to take that from me :) .....have a great weekend

Robin-Mc 10/13/2017

What a thought provoking post. I have no desire to gamble today, thank God. But when I reflect back on the times I threw in the towel and went back out there, I’m reminded of the overwhelming feeling of just giving in and giving up. I was at some miserable point in my life where I felt I had zero control of any outcome in my life. I allowed myself to give up on myself. How could I begin to tell myself NO when I didn’t even care about myself? I saw myself as a self harming person and accepted my diagnosis as the absolute truth. I surly didn’t realize that I could be kinder to myself by believing in myself. Why say NO when giving in and giving up was a way of life for me? It’s a pitiful existence living that way, believing my own lies. I can’t even remember when/if I ever really enjoyed gambling. It use to bore me until it stopped boring me and became my prison.
Why I don’t want to gamble today. I’m finding real strength in believing in myself for the first time in a seriously long time, I love this feeling. I can tell myself NO and mean it! That’s gigantic for this old lady! I don’t want to gamble today because life has become precious to me. Gambling was such a waste of my time. Who wants to throw away money? Gambling hurts me far more than anything ever has in my life. It’s dangerous for me. Gambling has nothing to offer me, it’s an addiction for me unlike any other.
So today I will not gamble, today I will open my hear and my mind to all that a real life has to offer.
Thanks for letting me share

Lski0714 10/13/2017

A wonderful post and beautifully said. After reading your wisdom about this awful disease, I'm so hopeful and can't wait until my thinking will become more powerful like yours. I am going to my second meeting tonight and it's been 14 days for me and counting. Thanks for sharing your thoughts of encouragement.

Qwit4Good 10/17/2017

I am creeping up on 3 years gamble free after many day ones from one day to 3 months gamble-free periods, and three tries at therapy. I will not allow myself to open the door to gambling now. I am far too happy. I work at being mindful of my own thoughts on a pretty constant basis. If my thoughts begin to wander toward gambling I know I have something I am not facing about my life or feelings or attitudes. I then check on some triggers: I ask myself, am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired? Am I bored, excited, celebratory, depressed, happy, or blah? Have I had too much sugar, booze or pepperoni? Do I feel estranged from God, nature, my family, my friends? Everything almost, can be triggers for me - but if I take care of all my social, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs then gambling doesn't have so much of a draw for me.
Additionally being kind to myself it makes it easier to be kind to others.

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