Good evening friends,

As some of you know, I have not been on for quite awhile. I had to take time and completely re-evaluate my life. Well, that was after I finally felt like I hit my rock bottom.

I took a step back and asked myself, why do I gamble? Why do I need to spend all my available money? Why do I lie to people and hurt everyone close to me?

I started to really think about these questions. I initially used gambling as my escape from a couple early life issues I had to deal with. Boy was it quite the escape. It quickly escalated to a crutch, I could escape life the minute it got difficult because I was able to spend all my time gambling.

I then realized, IS THIS REALLY LIVING? Just think about it for a moment. Actually think about it. We cannot get the time we spend on gambling back EVER. We cannot break even even though we all know that is exactly what each and every one of us are thinking and praying for. I am tired of feeling guilty on spending money on myself instead of having a bankroll for gambling. I am tired of not giving EVERYONE my complete attention. Most importantly, I am tired of letting people down.

I then started thinking about my children, nephews, nieces...am I being a truly good example? If I died tomorrow, what is my legacy? What am I giving back to the world? I sadly answered, I have been selfish and not the person I strive to be.

After a long self reflection of my past, present, and what I want for the future (IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE FOR THE FUTURE). I decided to change and not just say I want to change and hope I can do it. I actually feel like I am changed person. I gave myself enough time to reflect on EVERYTHING and decided it is time.

I used to never be able to understand smokers when they said that when they knew they were done, they were just done. I can proudly say that I am at that point - I am done.

Sorry for how long this topic is, but I am hoping it is a road map and if I can help someone else out - definitely worth it!